The problem is that they did not change – your perception of them did. They were always like that, you have just lost your tolerance for that quality. If you can see this difference, you should be able to understand that changes in the perceived behavior of your partner do not equal a loss of love from them to you …but your tolerance for the behavior has changed differently.
Instead of thinking “They’re lazy now, they must no longer care for me” …begin thinking instead “Their behavior is pretty much the same now as when we first started dating and they said they loved me. Maybe they do still love me”. Of course, if a particular behavior of theirs is bothering you, you should discuss it with them as mentioned in point one above.
But by understanding your perception of a particular behavior vs the actual reality of that behavior, you can come to stop thinking they no longer love you …and use that as a subconscious reason for falling out of love with them.
3. Symbolic Meanings:
People have a habit of attaching symbolic meanings to things that do not necessarily mean, well, anything! For some, “He didn’t walk the dog,” could really mean “You don’t care about the relationship anymore” or “She didn’t like the present” means “She doesn’t love me anymore”.
Besides just being wrong, these attributed meanings also shift your partner into a negative perspective in your mind. And this can slowly drain the love from a relationship. Make sure you are not attributing symbolic meanings to this, that and the other thing. And watch your partner make sure they are not inadvertently attaching symbolic meanings to your actions.
The practical way to achieve this is to keep honest and frank communication lines open in the relationship. Be frank with your partner, and their natural response is likely to be one of frankness back with you.
Want to know more about bringing back love in your relationship? Read The Difference Between Ego Love and True Love in Relationship
If you have lost the spark in your relationship, there is no easy fix. You cannot simply buy her expensive gifts or plan a vacation. The problems will still be there when you get back. You have to fix the ways you and your partner think to regain the love you once had.
If you want to know more about bringing back love in your relationship, then check out this video below:
John Alex Clark – Relationship & Life Coach
For more information on relationship advice, check out John Alex Clarks website “RelationshipPsychology.com”.