5 Little-Known Psychological Reasons Why Breakups Hurt So Much

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4. Was I not pretty enough? :

After a nasty break-up, a person’s mind tends to go to bad places to find a reason why they were left. Without getting a second opinion, people tend to think that it was because of looks or personality that caused their ex to walk out the door. More often than not, it’s never any of these things. Much like the unresolved personal issues we talked about in number 3, self-confidence issues can become a problem. Oftentimes, this isn’t about what your ex-thinks about you, it’s what you think about yourself. It’s easy to use a relationship to make you feel better about your insecurities, and it’s even easier to become more insecure if and when that person leaves. Learn to love yourself more and discover all the great things there are about you. The more confident you become in yourself, the less affected you will be when people walk away. 




 

5. What now? :

The longer you engage in a relationship with someone, the easier it is to get used to the things you do together. Most couples fit their schedules together just to make the most of the time they have. Waking up and turning in for the night are all done synchronously, and that makes a sort of routine that you tend to get used to. When the relationship is brought to an end, it’s like starting from scratch. You lose any semblance of organization and find yourself in a chaotic day where every hour is just a question of “what now?” What do you do to fill in your time? It always seemed so easy back when you were together. Remember that, again, this isn’t about love. This is about losing something that made you comfortable; in this case, a routine. Find new hobbies, rediscover old interests, and just enjoy yourself!

The process of getting over someone you can’t have can be a painful experience, and no one ever said it was wrong to feel pain, but you shouldn’t confuse this pain with thinking that you must really have “loved” your ex or that they were “The One”. As we have seen in this article, the reasons you feel such pain after a breakup often aren’t even related to your ex or any “love” for them at all. Learn more about yourself and understand your feelings to help yourself move on. Remember, it isn’t always about your ex. The sooner you realize that it’s not the end of the world, the happier you’ll be.




 

Related Video: 8 Beautiful Life Lessons You Can Learn From One Sided Love


Yours Appreciatively,
Signature
John Alex Clark – Relationship & Life Coach
For more information on relationship advice, check out John Alex Clarks website “RelationshipPsychology.com“.

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5 COMMENTS

  1. The pain of betrayal, that’s how I felt. There was not one dream, There was not one plan he wasn’t in. I built my world around him and crushed me when one day he said goodbye. Through all the pain there is one thing I learned though: love yourself. Be courageous to lose what needs to be lost.

  2. It’s simple! It’s the pain of being rejected. For example my cousin lost his wife in an accident. Yes that’s a very difficult situation. But My wife chose to leave. Being rejected is tough but its especially hard when it’s the person you trusted more than anything, the one you allowed to hold you heart, all the while feeling like a man of steel you quickly find out your heart is made of glass when she dropped it letting it shatter to pieces. I digress but being rejected is another human being saying you are no longer good enough for them.