You may strongly feel and believe that those ties and vows are still binding today…as would any Empathic individual with strong moral codes. But, whereas you want to soothe the narcissist’s hurts and help them feel secure, they simply want to siphon your compassionate energy from you like fuel for an engine. Although they may be simultaneously thinking of you as you’re thinking of them, it’s usually during your moments of emotional vulnerability, because this is the energetic state you were in when they manipulated you during the relationship.
Even after a relationship ends, the energetic ties remain, despite the amount of time that elapses. And even though you may be apart from them now, you’re still deeply bonded to them energetically. This can drain your energy, as well as cause symptoms of depression and hopelessness. This partly explains why many people continue to obsess about their narcissistic ex and feel the pain of past traumas as freshly as when they first occurred.
Why do you need to free yourself?
The process of cutting ties on all levels of your energy and awareness is a crucial step in removing any energetic cords that you share with the narcissist. This is the only way your soul can move on towards healing. Not cutting cords often results in getting stuck in a low-frequency cycle where the same disappointing events keep happening repeatedly. Unresolved energy ties will attract you to people, places, and events that resonate with the frequency of the emotional trauma you experienced with the narcissist. So, when you do enter into another relationship, you will have a tendency to project onto your new relationship all of the emotional pain you’ve stored from the one with the narcissist.
While this concept may seem overwhelming there are ways to protect yourself from psychic hoovering so you can close the chapter and move on towards healing and happier relationships – with yourself and others.
Ways to protect yourself from psychic hoovering?
1. If you haven’t blocked and deleted the narcissist from your phone, now’s the time to do it. Anything else only leaves you vulnerable to their psychic hoovering and otherwise. If you share children with your ex, change your cell phone number and have them contact you by landline or email. Use a supervised email system if necessary, such as Our Family Wizard.
2. Perform a cord-cutting ceremony at least once a week until the energetic ties are gone.
3. Smudge your home to cleanse it of negative energies and memories.
4. Consider purchasing crystals that are specific to psychic protection, such as: Black Tourmaline, Amethyst, Hematite, and Tiger Eye.
5. Try dabbing some lavender or sandalwood essential oil on the back of your neck for cleansing and protection (if you have sensitive skin, make sure to blend with a carrier oil first).
For those of you who are afraid of the finality of cutting energetic ties with the narcissist – it doesn’t necessarily mean you shouldn’t love the person anymore or no longer care about them. The process is meant to cut the dysfunctional, traumatic cords that you share with the other person. Although you should still maintain No Contact for obvious reasons, you can still care for your toxic ex, but you should do so from a distance.
Once you begin healing the core wounds that bound you to the narcissist, you will find that your attachment to them will get weaker over time and you will eventually become empowered enough to release them completely.
Copyright © 2016 Kim Saeed and Let Me Reach. All Rights Reserved
Kim Saeed is the author of the Amazon best-selling book, How to Do No Contact Like a Boss!. In 2013, she founded Let Me Reach, which is an education company that teaches people to thrive who are contemplating, moving through, or moving on after No Contact.