9. Respect what the other person is telling you.
You may disagree, which is a point to figure out, and probably why you are arguing in the first place, however, if someone is sharing what they think or feel, that needs to be respected. Maybe it will take time to process the feelings around what is being shared and that is ok.
The issue or point of tension may not be resolved that day, we all need time to come to terms with our feelings about something and respect needs to be there on both sides, sometimes it’s time to heal.
10. Maintain volume control, no yelling.
This is again, a matter that depends on personal comfort. Defer to the person with less tolerance for loud voices, many of us have different ideas about what yelling is, and the most respectful way to address that is to hear the person who is quicker to say that there is, in fact, yelling.
Couples counseling is another option. Many people consider couples therapy to be a desperate move or one that you only make when the relationship is in dire straits, however, this can actually be a true sign of strength. Sometimes we just need that third person to help us navigate a difficult topic or to help us develop the skills to communicate more effectively.
As I often say to many of my clients, counseling or therapy is a sign of strength rather than illness or a problem. The step to ask for help and get the support we all need is a brave step, be it personally or in a relationship.
I hope this article has helped you to think about conflict as a strength rather than something to run away from. A healthy conflict is evidence that no one person is in control of the relationship, and that both voices are present in decisions, which is a part of any healthy, high-functioning relationship. Where there is disagreement there is also the opportunity to learn and understand which is a necessary part of any vibrant relationship.
What are your experiences with conflict in your relationship? Are you able to work through your arguments constructively? Do you have any other ground rules that have worked for you and your partner?
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Written By Meredith Flanagan Originally Appeared On Upside Down Flan