Don’t Underestimate the Power of Wedding Vows

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We’re including a few examples of vows that you can use as a starter kit to help you come up with vows of your own. There is no limit to the number of commitments that you can include in your vow.

  • I vow to be a worthy opponent and to speak the truth, even when I believe that what I say may disturb you or upset our relationship.
  •  I commit to being honest with you about any grievances or disappointments that I might have so as not to allow any “withholds” or resentments from accumulating and therefore contaminating our love.
  • I pledge to honor you as much as but not more than myself.
  • I promise to manage any jealousy that I might experience in a way that it doesn’t inhibit you from having meaningful relationships with other men and women.
  • I vow to take responsibility for creating a rich, meaningful life for myself, and not hold you responsible for providing fulfillment for me.
  • I am committed to being the best lover, supporter, cheerleader, inspirer, partner, and playmate for you that I can be.
  • I pledge to you that I will keep our sexual relationship vital, even as our bodies change as we age. I will make the extra effort to keep the enthusiasm present in our sexual relationship so that we can continue to delight in that particular form of intimacy. I am committed to bringing pleasure and joy to both of us through our physical relationship.
  • I vow to prompt you to continue to develop your talents and to share your gifts with others.
  • I vow to support you to take risks, try new things and to go to places you’ve never been before.
  • I pledge to be the fierce guardian of your solitude, so you will have abundant time for meditation, reflection, and renewal.
  • I vow to continually, consistently see the divine in you and assist your process of discovering deeper levels of the sacred both within and around you.
  •  I vow to live with an open heart and to encourage your big beautiful heart to open more fully so that service is the defining essence of our life together.
  • I vow that the love we share with each other will be so nourishing that it will spill over to those around us.
  • I vow to take good care of myself and develop my own gifts.
  • I pledge to live a balanced life, and to hold work in its proper place.
  • I vow to trust you to honor the sacred bond that we share and to respect and not exploit my vulnerability. I trust you to reciprocate my trust with yours. I trust you to open your heart to me even when you experience fear or anger, to the best of your ability.  I trust that the nurturing of the love that we share is a high priority in your life.
  •  I vow to love you with all my heart with complete devotion for all of my life.

Feel free to use or modify any of these vows that ring true for you, or to create your own. What matters the most is that they come from your heart and are sincere. The power of vows is amplified when they are shared aloud in the present of others, for example at weddings.







Vows do not require the presence of witnesses and can be shared with each other in private if you prefer. For many people (including ourselves) vows serve as a reminder of the purpose of our relationship and of the power that we each possess to have it thrive and grow on an ongoing basis.

They are heartfelt commitments that will not only get you through the tough times, but will get your relationship up to places that you may have never even imagined possible. And that’s promise!

 

We’re giving away 3 e-books absolutely free of charge. The Ten Biggest Things We’ve Learned Since We Got Married, Your Guide to Great Sex, and An End to Arguing.

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Written by Linda and Charlie Bloom
Originally appeared in PsychologyToday

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Linda Bloom, LCSW and Charlie Bloom, MSW have been trained as psychotherapists and relationship counselors and have worked with individuals, couples, groups, and organizations since 1975. They have lectured and taught at universities and learning institutes throughout the USA, including the Esalen Institute, the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health, 1440 Multiversity, and many others.  They have taught seminars in many countries throughout the world. They have co-authored four books, 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married: Simple Lessons to Make Love Last, Secrets of Great Marriages: Real Truth From Real Couples About Lasting Love, Happily Ever After And 39 Other Myths About Love, and That Which Doesn't Kill Us: How One Couple Became Stronger at the Broken Places. They have been married since 1972 and are the parents of two adult children and three grandsons. Linda and Charlie live in Santa Cruz, California. Their website is www.bloomwork.com