Remember you are in the portal of Awareness. In neutral observation, simply acknowledge the unkind tone of these thoughts and how unhelpful they are to you. Then take a deep breath.
Good. Now you’re ready to move through the third portal of transformation:
Ah, willingness. The word itself has a graceful, fluid quality to it, doesn’t it? The very quality we want to bring into our experience of moving through the holiday season.
So what are you now willing to do? You’re willing to withdraw your attention from these thoughts and focus in a more loving direction.
This portal of transformation is all about – No judging yourself for having those thoughts, no inner debates, no wringing of hands or gnashing of teeth. Just another one of those nourishing deep breaths – and maybe another Mona Lisa smile – and then you simply anchor your attention into something comforting or funny or kind.
You’ll do yourself a tremendous service by thinking of a few of those things right now and committing them to memory. That way you can shift focus to one of them quickly and easily, in the very moment of having become aware of an unhelpful thought. You won’t need to call a time-out, sit down with your journal and try to craft something from scratch. (Although I highly recommending calling time-outs and spending loving, reflective time with your journal whenever you can.)
Here are a few you might consider adopting or adapting to your personal preferences:
- The more relaxed I can let myself be right now, the better everything will flow. (Shorter version: The more relaxed I am, the better everything flows.)
- The things that really need to get done always get done.
- Something good could come from this.
- Something good IS coming from this, if I allow it.
- I have all the time I need.
- The Divine is always on time.
- I’m doing the best I can, it’s all I can do, and it’s more than enough.
Hopefully you get the idea. With these statements you’re capturing reminders of things you know or believe that help you put things into a larger, more loving perspective.
Those of you who know me well also know that I refer to these statements as anchor statements, because you’re using them to anchor your focus into something loving so it doesn’t drift back into judgment-land. Don’t let their simplicity fool you into thinking they aren’t effective.
They are tremendously helpful in literally transforming your diminishing thought processes into ones that are supportive – when you carry them through the fourth portal of transformation:
As with virtually all transformational changes, moving from self-judging to self-loving isn’t usually a one-and-done kind of experience. It takes practice. It actually takes a willingness to practice rather than the sheer force of willpower, so you may need to double-back on the third portal.
Just be willing, time and again, to pause as soon as you’re aware of unkind thoughts, take a deep breath, and anchor into something loving or helpful or kind. Those three steps are your practice. That’s it. Just keep practicing them.
Over time they become easier, then easy, then automatic…and then, gloriously, the unkind thoughts just don’t emerge anymore.
Can you imagine how good that will feel? I’d say it’s the best gift you could give yourself…and the holiday season could be the perfect time to begin. I hope you’re with me in this.
Wishing you peace, ease and Grace this season and always.
Written by: Suzanne Eder Schedule your free consultation with Suzanne to discover if working with her may be your perfect next step in creating a deeply fulfilling life. Email email@example.com for more information. Originally appeared on: Suzanneeder.com Republished with permission.