Phases of NY – Mind Talk

Before coming here, I was here. It was all an idea at first, something that pulled at my soul and made me realize why I was truly living, and not just a thought I had in vain. Living there, I knew that there was more, more to life, and more to what I had experienced thus far. Not that I hadn’t experienced life, but compared to what lie in front of me, I knew the move had to be here. The land of dreams, hopes, death, desires, and all things that defined me, and who I thought I was; who I knew I was going to be. I wanted to live, experience, and to love, and here was the culmination of what I thought the answer was for me. But, was it? Was I living in a dream world of unyielding hope and seduction. That is what here meant to me, the seduction of what could be, what would be, and I was more than ready to take my first step into a dose of reality that I had only heard about up until that point. The desire that I felt within my veins pulsated many of my waking moments. I had exhausted my existence there up until that point, I had done what was required of me, and I knew a great adventure lie before me, but I had to move. I had to travel to a place where only the darkest dreams became reality, I had to come here, to the east, to the place that shivered to it’s core in snow and persistence. This was the reason I became my true vision of my myself. My calling was in a place that I had to inhabit and it beckoned me with whispers of iconic imagery and persistence.

I arrived and suddenly I felt alive. I had all too often ignored my purpose, so to speak. I managed to find the bravery and power to come to the realization that I was a person who was in hope of something greater, greater than I had known thus far. But when it hit me, it hit me hard. The greatness that I was seeking was here, in this place of mystery. I didn’t know how or what or who or when, but it was here, and I was finally full and in my own perception of reality. I had landed in the place where I would be found. And, all I hoped for in life was to be found, to be seen, to be heard, and to be recognized. I lusted after being alive in an essence of pain, to finally decide on the fate of my soul, and to live each moment dependent on my shadows. Coming here was the beginning. Much like a bird that flies to the highest mountain, my dream of life lie deep within this wondrous place. This place of people, and things, and money, and towers. A place I had only felt before, but now was able to see. I call it bravery, others may call it foolish. But, I left everything and took off until I was home in a place I could call my own.

Written by Monique


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