Color Psychology Decoded: What Your Favorite Clothing Color Reveals About You

Color Psychology Decoded: What Your Favorite Clothing Color Reveals About You

Do you have a favorite color that you love to wear all the time? Yes, we all have a go-to color that dominates our wardrobe. While most people will jump to say black is their top pick when it comes to fashion, there are people who prefer to wear shades of red, blue and other primary colors. Then there are the ones who love neutral colors and even jewel-tone colors.

Regardless of what your preferred clothing color might be, each color in your wardrobe says something about your personality. Even though you might not be consciously aware of the impact of color in your life, it certainly influences your emotions and moods to a great extent. When you prefer a particular color or avoid a certain shade, it reveals a lot about your personality. This is known as the psychology of color.

 

What is color psychology?

“Color is a power which directly influences the soul.” – Wassily Kandinsky

It is the study of how colors affect human behavior and mood as well as what type of physiological impression it leaves on others. The objective is to find out how color affects our emotions and the decisions we make on a daily basis. So can the color of your clothes actually affect how you feel? Color psychology experts say yes. It can not only impact your feelings and behavior, but color can even influence the levels of stress or excitement you feel. Color specialists have found that colors tend to have similar psychological and emotional impressions on different people. Colors have also been known to influence our metabolism, blood pressure, respiration and may result in eyestrain.

 

What your favorite clothing color says about you

“Be uniquely you. Stand out. Shine. Be colorful. The world needs your prismatic soul!” – Amy Leigh Mercree

Even though we might not be aware of the symbolic meanings of each color, experts believe that there is a good reason why we are drawn to certain colors on a subconscious level. So if your closet is full of clothes of a specific color, then it definitely says a lot about your personality, believe color psychology experts.

Want to know what your favorite color has to say about your personality? Take a look.

1. Red

woman in red dress

Red is such an interesting color to correlate with emotion, because it’s on both ends of the spectrum. On one end you have happiness, falling in love, infatuation with someone, passion, all that. On the other end, you’ve got obsession, jealousy, danger, fear, anger and frustration. – Taylor Swift

Love red? Then you sure love making a statement. Red is the color of energy, passion, power, strength, vivacity, attraction and romance. You are bold and sensual and love grabbing attention by creating a strong visual impact. You love being a badass and feel authoritative when you wear your favorite color red. It empowers and makes you feel confident and outspoken with a hint of just the right amount of aggression. Wearing red means you are a strong-willed and passionate person who is not afraid of the spotlight. You enjoy living your life and ooze tons of sex appeal.

 

2. Black

woman in black dress

“Without black, no color has any depth. But if you mix black with everything, suddenly there’s shadow – no, not just shadow, but fullness. You’ve got to be willing to mix black into your palette if you want to create something that’s real.” – Amy Grant

Most people love black and have at least one black dress or suit in their wardrobe. However, if black is all you wear, then you’re a sophisticated, confident, and bold person who prefers elegance and luxury in life. You’re a protective and mysterious person who seeks power or at least love to show that you are powerful. You are a classy yet authoritative person who will go to extremes to achieve their goals.

3 Sneaky Techniques Narcissists Use to Gain Attention

3 Sneaky Techniques Narcissists Use to Gain Attention

Watch out for these 3 sneaky techniques narcissists use to gain attention.

The narcissist needs all eyes on them – because they are the only supreme deity they acknowledge

Narcissists are always trying their best to gain attention because without attention they cannot survive.

For any narcissist, attention is a staple food. If you cannot provide a narcissist with the appreciation, compliments, and praise that they believe they deserve, you will be cast out of their life. For all narcissists, you are a mere supply of their needs, which include all the positive requirements for a fulfilling life. 

Most of the sustained intimate relationships are based on the mutual expression of feelings but a relationship with a narcissist will always be one-sided. It’s all about give-give-give it all, and never ask for anything in return. The moment you do so, you will be tricked, manipulated and controlled into doing things for them. 

A narcissist, without a second thought, is a self-obsessed person.

They are of the belief that the world revolves around them. Most of their time and energy is spent on making themselves look and feel good and they constantly seek self-affirmation (Twenge & Campbell, 2009). 

A crucial component of narcissism is the need to be the center of attention because doing so fulfills narcissists’ goal of being agentic. According to Buss & Chiodo(1991), when attention to the self is not forthcoming, narcissists may engage in compensatory actions to direct attention toward the self. 

You can easily become a victim of these complementary actions, especially if you have been devoid of attention for a long time. You will never come to realize when the narcissist has exploited your deepest needs to fulfill theirs. It is always a good option to know how a narcissist works to turn the wheel of attention towards themselves so that you do not remain in the dark. 

The following are 3 few ways in which a narcissist tries to refocus other people’s attention to themselves:

3 Sneaky Techniques Narcissists Use to Gain Attention

1. Playing the blame game 

One of the dirtiest games a narcissist plays is the blame game. It is a psychologically manipulative technique that the narcissist applies to project their own faults and mistakes on to the other person, getting rid of its responsibility all along the way.

Here I will illustrate how they play a blame game:

Suppose your partner is recently acting emotionally indifferent towards you. He/she has been displaying signs of infidelity like lying, hiding information and you are suspicious that he/she might be cheating on you. So one fine day you finally approach him/her armed with every single proof you have. 

You: “Recently I have been noticing some changes in you. Is everything all right? Is there something you want to tell me?” 

Your partner: “No. Why? What is wrong?”

You: “I believe you are hiding something from me. Is that true?” 

Your partner: “What do you mean I am hiding something? Are you even distantly suggesting infidelity?” 

You: “I was just wondering…” (cut short) 

Your partner: “How could you? Do you think I am so cheap? You have always been suspicious of my intent. You never trusted me even when I did my best to keep you happy. I should have never been with a controlling person like you.” 

The first thought that will strike you will be that the conflict came about because of you. You could even end up blaming yourself for mistrusting your partner. But, the fact is, it is not your fault. Note how you have politely asked for your partner’s opinions. You didn’t even mention infidelity, but he/she just got hooked to it. Your partner might or might not be cheating but it clearly shows how your partner capsized the conversation and shifted the attention from oneself to you.

You were supposed to be the center of concern because your partner’s behavior was bothering you in the first place. But your partner effortlessly turned the focus towards oneself and readily turned you into a villain. It won’t be surprising if you find yourself consoling and apologizing to your partner. 

 

2. Monopolizing conversation

Have you ever felt left out in a conversation? 

5 Keys To Understanding And Loving An Introverted Man

5 Keys to Understanding and Loving An Introverted Man

These are 5 crucial things to remember about an introverted man.

If you have spent half of your life sipping a cocktail, with loud music blasting in the background, I am sorry for you. This means you might have never come across an introverted man!

It’s not like an introverted man detests parties. Nevertheless, you have successfully reduced the probability of meeting a warm human, with a heart-melting smile, and an innocent charm that can sweep you off your feet. They are not quite like the ones at the bar, flirting away with strings of girls, laughing away at their own substandard jokes.

Introverted men are damn attractive.

Their shy eye contacts, fleeting glance, and gentle demeanor are sure to win hearts. But unfortunately, they go unseen and unheard. Understanding an introverted man becomes quite difficult for a woman as they are not vocal about themselves. It is just a part of their trait.

If you are an introverted man, or you are a woman who is drawn to an introverted man, understanding oneself or the man you are attracted too is important before you engage in a romantic relationship with him. The reason behind the failure of most relationships is a lack of understanding between the partners.
So, what are the few important things to remember about an introverted man? 

1. An introverted man opens up at his own pace

‘Come out of your shell’ – that noxious expression which fails to appreciate that some animals naturally carry shelter everywhere they go and some humans are just the same. ~Susan Cain

With a man who is introverted, it is not easy to fathom what is going on below the surface. They are easily misunderstood as their way of expression is not quite like other people.

Introverts find it difficult to be forthcoming about their feelings and thoughts. But mind you, that doesn’t make him any less of a considerate, kind and emotional person. On the contrary, their feelings run deeper than you think.

You need to provide them with the proper space, the optimum amount of understanding, the time to open up. Probing and poking them to open up about what is going on in their mind will never help. Instead, this will only make him withdraw in his shell.

Provide him the sweet time to open up. Once he is able to connect, he will share every little detail with you.

 

2. An introverted man feels deeper than they seem.

introverted man

An introverted man is like still water, seems absolutely unperturbed on the surface but the water runs deeper. They do not frequently express their feelings but their actions speak louder than words.

If you are dating an introverted man, you need to be observant enough to notice the small changes in their facial expression, changes in their body language and their tone of voice. This will not only help you understand him and give you a clue to what is going on in his mind but also enhance the connection between you both.

 

3. An introverted man desires an easy, open vibe.

introverted man vibes

Working under pressure, meeting deadlines and domination are a few things that suffocate an introverted man. When he is in a relationship, too much drama, too many conflicts, and mind games will negatively affect their interest and commitment to the relationship.

While most of us would like a happy, cheerful and warm environment for our love to bloom, for an introverted man it is a dire necessity. They are able to reach the zenith of their potentials when a conducive environment of warmth and acceptance is provided to them.

Anything critically disturbing to their mental peace hampers their overall growth. They like people around them to be kind, friendly and a little laid back, and give them time to understand if you are vibing well with him or not.

 

4. An introverted man is incredibly honest.

An introverted man is faithful to the core. Like other men who are outgoing, they do not like being surrounded by women, flirting around and making their partners grow green with jealousy.

They will never, read again, NEVER, play with their partner’s emotion for fun or to get attention. Also, he never plays ‘hard-to-get’. These men love making intimate friends who they choose very carefully. Even when he is spending time with his dear kins, he would love to keep in touch with you and feel your presence. You will never get the vibe of a betrayer from an introverted man.

Which Stressors Put You Over The Edge Based On Your Personality Type

Stressors Personality Type

Get a grip.

Everyone has something that triggers an extreme stress reaction. You’re dealing with day-to-day struggles, and then bam! After a period of prolonged strain, pushed to the limits of what you can handle, you lose all sense of yourself. Friends and family might even tell you’re behaving entirely out of character. You probably don’t even recognize yourself.

What you’re missing, though, is the pattern that emerges when you’re super-stressed.

Each MBTI® personality type has preferences and qualities that shine when at their best. When you slowly accumulate stress, you tend to exaggerate your dominant way of operating. When you hit your stress ceiling, you lose perspective, and what works for you typically, is out of reach. You then spiral in your least preferred way of operating. For example, an ISTJ hyper-focused on data at first – their strength — then loses all sense of the facts, and begins to catastrophize, conjuring up all sorts of terrifying possibilities.

The most important thing to recognize is that there is nothing wrong with you, and there is no lousy personality type. Extreme stress can serve a useful purpose, as you are forced to expand your awareness. You simply cannot ignore your own hidden personality, and you must come to terms with it. You need a reset.

To get out of the grip, a phrase coined by author and psychologist Naomi Quenk in Was That Really Me? (2002), each type needs to find its way back to equilibrium. Quenk says the exact process of getting back in touch with your dominant function is not fully known, but as you gradually increase trust in yourself again, you feel “normal” (pp. 45-67).

Understanding your Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® can help you unpack what seems like a contradictory and complicated process of responding to and managing extreme stress. If you’re able to reconnect with the strengths of your type while you’re in the grip, you can short circuit the entire unpleasant experience.

 

Here is what puts you over the edge according to your personality type, and how to get yourself back to your best self:

 

ISTJ

ISTJs are logical, practical individuals known for their systematic approach and sense of calm.

It can be very jarring to see an ISTJ who suddenly thinks their situation is bleak and looking for problems to go wrong, but this is precisely what happens to them when they get stressed to the maximum, especially when they feel disregarded and in the face of criticism of their needs, decisions, and rules they put in place.

To regain their calm, ISTJs can get some physical and mental space to reflect and reframe the situation, do some affirmations, and then connect with supportive people in their life.

 

ISFJ

ISFJs are the cautious, considerate, conscientious caretakers.

When they feel the weight of the world on their shoulders – and often when they’re over-responsible, they do – and don’t feel appreciated, they can feel very discouraged. Dismissing them or their fears can ratchet up their grip experience even more such that even something minor becomes the worst possible scenario for them. Their classic in the grip mode of operating is to catastrophize.

The best way out? Calm reassurance from a loved one, as well as to be taken seriously. If on their own, seek a quiet refuge and read about inspiring stories of courage.

 

INTJ

INTJs are insightful, long-term planners.

Prolonged periods of dealing with others’ short-sightedness, mindlessness, and aimlessness are tough to handle. They feel immense pressure to pick up the pieces and handle the details until it drives them to the brink. They then tend to over-indulge in their vices or sensual pleasures or begin to obsessively clean.

To get back to feeling themselves, they need to put their feet up, take a nap, or lighten their load.

 

INFJ

The INFJ is typically an inquisitive and idealistic visionary.

When faced with an extremely inflexible environment, disorder, disruptions or a shakedown in routine, they feel lost, fragmented, and immobilized. They might also overindulge in mindless television to cut themselves off.

To regain their open, self-assured outlook, the INFJ can decrease sensory stimulation and then talk it out with another person who knows them well.

8 Biggest Downsides of Being an Introvert in a Extroverted World

8 Disadvantages of Being An Introvert

Are there any disadvantages associated with being an introvert? 

Introverts are oftentimes misunderstood by so many of us, and the reason being their inability to express themselves as demonstratively as other people can.

They love to be engrossed in the little imaginary land that they have created in their minds. But excuse us, we are not unaware of what is happening in our surroundings. We are very much observant, aware and adept at absorbing the energies around us. 

Sadly, some of our innate qualities make it difficult for us to ‘trend’ as much as the extroverts. There are so many strong points about being an introvert. Equally, there are numerous disadvantages of being an introvert, which one has to always carry with oneself. 


Here are 8 of the disadvantages of being an introvert (which we are not quite sad about though):

8 Disadvantages of Being An Introvert

1. Introverts often get tagged as a ‘snob’.

i-always-feel-awkward-doing-small-talk

This one is far from being true though.

Introverts will seldom return back your smile, as you pass one to them, just like that. Not that they don’t smile. Crack an intellectual joke and you will catch them laughing their lungs out! 

Introverts are never good with small talks or getting along a stranger with smiles and flattery. Being out-going, flirtatious with others is just not their thing. Keeping up with social etiquettes also becomes difficult for them at times. Again, because they have to speak. ‘Thank you’, ‘welcome’, ‘see you again’ – all these do not naturally come to them. 

This does not make them a snob. In fact, they are very considerate beings. This is just because they find it extremely difficult to express anything that they might be playing in their minds.

 

2. Introverts have a hard time finding a date.

i-am-semi-clingy

Who do you think takes away the cherry on the cake? 

The ones who are outgoing, flamboyant and uninhibited in demonstrating one’s emotions, the one who wears his/her feelings on one’s sleeves. 

Introverts sadly get fewer dates than they deserve only as they do not come off as “too humorous”, “too interesting” or “too attractive” to most people.

 

3. Introverts’ capacities at work are often downplayed.

Introverts do not get the deserving credits at work as much as they should get. The reason is simply that they do not explicitly own up their hard work. 

Suppose in a group project, they have contributed their part, have worked hard but are not expressive enough to put themselves in the limelight for their part. They are least likely to complain about how difficult it was for them to manage the project. 

 

4. Introverts are least likely to be chosen as leaders.

intuition

Some typical qualities of a leader are thought to be the ability to focus and communicate properly, have sound decision-making capabilities, vigor, direction, consistency, and intense passion. 

Introverts are believed to have difficulties in communication and in making good decisions. They are also thought to lack the vigor and consistency which is sort after in a leader. 

What people overlook are the essential qualities of intuition, contemplation, good listening skills, empathy and observational abilities which are equally important characteristics of a leader which are possessed by an introvert. 

6 Scientifically-Proven Signs That You’re Highly Intelligent

6 Scientifically-Proven Signs That You’re Highly Intelligent

Are you smarter than average? Can you be a highly intelligent person but you don’t know it yet? Being intelligent means that you are not just knowledgeable, inventive, bright, quick-witted and brainy. Intelligent people possess a wide range of unique characteristics that makes it easier to recognize them.

Intelligence is defined as the capacity to learn, understand, and make reasonable judgments or hold reasonable opinions.

There are different types of intelligence such as emotional, interpersonal, logical and even musical. According to scientifical research, the same person could have a different level of intelligence depending on the sphere. Or in other words, someone might be an absolute genius in maths yet totally unable to interact with people for instance.

Here comes the question of how intelligence is developed and what factors make someone intelligent in one sphere and not that intelligent in another.

According to the opinion of Dr. Perpetua Neo psychologist and executive coach:

“Certain traits connected to intelligence get selected for by evolution because this enables a species to survive during times of transitions/disasters, create more prosperous [civilizations,] or conquer new habitats,” she says to Bustle.

But is it all a matter of genes and evolution? Do family, education, social environment, and parent behavior also play a role in developing a child’s intelligence?

The truth is that scientists still have not come up with a full list of all the factors that influence someone’s intelligence.

But what we know for sure, is that there are many characteristics the people who score high on IQ tests and are highly intelligent have in common.

Here are 6 of them we’ve outlined based on scientifical research:

6 Scientifically-Proven Signs That You’re Highly Intelligent

1.Curiosity

According to research from 2016, published in the Journal of Individual Differences, there exists a connection between the level of intelligence throughout childhood and the desire for gaining experience in adulthood.

For 50 years, the researchers who conducted the study observed people born in the UK. They concluded that the children at the age of eleven with higher IQ results were more interested in gaining new experience at the age of 50 than the others.

 

2. Creativity

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.” Einstein

Highly intelligent people are also remarkably creative. For example, Einstein’s creative imagination made it possible to develop the Theory of Relativity. It all started by him thinking what it would be like to ride a light beam. So it turns out that creativity is also a form of intelligence.

“Being open and creative means that we can easily piece together new insights that are qualitatively different from the sum of their parts,”
Dr. Perpetua Neo tells Bustle.

 

3.Taking risks

Taking risks may be a sign of higher intelligence it turns out. According to Finnish research, from 2015 people who have the courage to take risks are smarter.

The participants in the study had to pass a driving simulation test. They had to drive past yellow traffic lights or wait for the lights to become red. The scientists who conducted the study came to the conclusion that those who took risky decisions during the experiment had more white brain matter – the part of the brain related to cognitive capacity.

 

4. They are not afraid to admit they don’t know something

I know that I am intelligent because I know that I know nothing. Socrates

Intelligent people aren’t afraid to say that they are not familiar with something. According to information provided by Business Insider, a study conducted by Justin Kruger and David Dunning proved that people who are not that intelligent, tend to overestimate their abilities.

For instance, students who had the lowest results in an exam adapted from the LSAT overestimated the number of questions they had answered correctly by almost 50%. At the same time, the ones who had top scores underestimated the number of correct answers they’d given.

 

5.Being the first-born

The fact that someone is the eldest sibling might be the reason for this person’s high level of intelligence. That could be associated with the parents’ behavior as they are usually stricter with their firstborn children.

According to an article published in The Independent, some economists from the University of Edinburgh also support the theory that first-borns are smarter because of their parents’ behavior.

15 Things Introverts Crave In Romantic Relationships

15 Things Introverts Crave In Romantic Relationships

Are you dating an introvert and not quite sure about what an Introvert wants from a relationship?

Look no further. 

Let’s talk about facts. Introverts are great lovers.

They aren’t as difficult as you think them to be. These dreamy-eyed lost souls will keep you wondering ‘what’s going on in that beautiful mind.’

They will take you for a ‘mystery ride’ but leave you madly in love once you click well with them. 

15 Things Introverts Crave In Romantic Relationships
Things Introverts Crave In Romantic Relationships

Here are 15 things An Introvert wants from a relationship: 

(Promise, we don’t need much from you, except for these few things)

 

1.  We crave your cuddles,

on a lazy Sunday afternoon, while watching our favorite show.

 

 

2. We crave your acceptance,

just the way we are – crazy, daydreaming, overthinking, messy individuals.

 

3. We crave your protective arms around us

like we are babies, who need to be loved and pampered.

 

4. We crave to plant the seed of our never-ending, everlasting, love,

which will one day grow in leaps and bounds.

 

5. We crave to look deep into your eyes

until every ounce of our love is sipping through and drowning you in it.

 

6. We crave your patience to wait

until we express exactly what we want. We are slow at processing, but when we start doing it, our mind is all going hayward.

 

7. We crave your confidence in us,

to believe in our ability to express everything when we are overwhelmed with emotions.

 

8. We crave time.

We want time to relax, de-stress ourselves, and stay away from all types of social interactions and everything we are expected of.

giving him time

9. We crave freedom and space for us to refill ourselves

with the life-giving energy potion, and come back to you with replenished energy to love and care for you.

alone time

10. We crave your empathy, to understand us and connect to us beyond the usual

so that you can feel us deeply, more intensely and our union happens at a higher realm.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Who Is A Narcissist And What Makes One

The term narcissism is used a lot these days to describe someone who is full of themselves. However, narcissism is not self-love. A narcissistic Personality disorder is a personality disorder that can affect the lives of all the people who are in a relationship with a narcissist. It is an inflated self-image that is rooted in intense feelings of insecurity.

What is it?
Possible causes of NPD.
Is recovery possible?

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a pattern of deviant behavior which is abnormal and considered unacceptable by society in general.

People with NPD often come across as arrogant and conceited with a tendency to look down on others who they perceive as inferior.

A narcissist often displays a sense of entitlement demanding admiration and special treatment. When they don’t receive such treatment, they may become impatient and angry.

Underneath the narcissist’s outward portrayal of confidence and superiority, there are often deep-seated insecurities and self-loathing where they know that they don’t quite match up to that image of perfection. As a result, they will not respond well to any perceived criticism and often react with rage.

Narcissists are renowned for having problematic relationships. Their main focus is on themselves, their wants and their needs. They are self-centered and egotistical and like to be the focus of attention. The needs of those around them are not really their concern.

The narcissist often appears to be charming to those who don’t really know them and by that I mean, those who don’t live with them, work with them or have known them for a relatively short period of time. The longer you know a narcissist, the more apparent their unacceptable behavior becomes. They will ignore, denigrate and slander others in order to boost their own position and boost their insatiable ego.

A very common trait of the narcissist is a complete lack of empathy. They either cannot or will not put themselves in someone else’s shoes or try to understand someone else’s pain or distress. They use people for their own ends, to get what they want when they want with no regard for anyone else’s feelings or who gets hurt in the process.

Their envy speaks for itself. They don’t like to see others who are more popular, doing better, making more money or being happier than they are themselves. Their envy often results in a smear campaign where the narcissist will lie and gossip in an effort to destroy the other person’s reputation.

The Mayo Clinic (Nov 2014) states that ‘Many experts use the criteria in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), published by the American Psychiatric Association, to diagnose mental conditions. This manual is also used by insurance companies to reimburse for treatment.

DSM-5 criteria for narcissistic personality disorder include these features:

  • Having an exaggerated sense of self-importance
  • Expecting to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
  • Exaggerating your achievements and talents
  • Being preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate
  • Believing that you are superior and can only be understood by or associate with equally special people
  • Requiring constant admiration
  • Having a sense of entitlement
  • Expecting special favors and unquestioning compliance with your expectations
  • Taking advantage of others to get what you want
  • Having an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
  • Being envious of others and believing others envy you
  • Behaving in an arrogant or haughty manner

Diagnosis is by trained mental health professionals. To be diagnosed with the rather unflattering label of narcissistic personality disorder, one must possess at least five of the traits mentioned.

A common and very important trait, which is not mentioned in this list, is that of little or no empathy. There are many who believe that as this is such a key aspect in people with NPD that it should have been included in the diagnostic criteria.

Possible causes of NPD.

It is not known what causes NPD. However, there are many theories which include:

  1. Overvaluing as a child
  2. A learned behavior
  3. Genetics
  4. Abuse in childhood

The cause is most likely complex with the possibility of more than one factor being at the root of this disorder.

 

Is recovery possible?

For a narcissist to seek help, they need to see that the problems lie within themselves.

What Wearing All Black Reveals About Your Personality

“Shopping rule: If it’s not black, put it back”

Love wearing black all the time? Do other colored outfits make you nauseated? Well, there’s a good reason for that. Black is the color of power. When it comes to fashion, black never goes out of style. Wearing black color can make you look sophisticated, mysterious, elegant and even cool. 

But what does wearing black all the time reveal about your personality? Your love for the monochrome is saying things about you that you don’t even realize.

We love Black

“You can wear black at any time. You can wear it at any age. You may wear it for almost any occasion.” – Christian Dior

Black is a highly popular color, to say the least. But what exactly motivates us to choose black attires most of the time? For starters, your preference for black might be based on your personality and several other factors like your upbringing, social background, economic status, life experiences, and environment.

In fashion, black is a color that can never go wrong. Whether you wear black suits for a business meeting or a black dress for a dinner party, black is a versatile color that suits different moods and situations. There is a certain aura of confidence and mystery associated with black. It hides what it needs to and absorbs colors that try to outshine it. As black does not seek any attention, you look very professional and elegant when you wear it. People who mostly wear black, wear it because they like it, not to impress anyone. It also means that you need your privacy, you are secretive and you like to detach from society.

Black is sexy. It’s official.

“You can have any color, as long as it’s black.” – Henry Ford

A lot of people love black color. But do you want to wear black all the time? There are people who wear black to look thinner or appear professional. But that’s not what we are talking about here. Many people like me prefer to wear black most of the time as it helps us express our personalities and psychological identities to the outside world. So what does wearing black say about you?

According to a recent survey by the UK based online supplier Buytshirtsonline, black was rated as the most preferred the color and was linked with various positive traits like –

  • Attractiveness
  • Sensitiveness
  • Confidence 
  • Intelligence

The study surveyed more than 1,000 individuals and discovered that different personality traits are associated with different colors. The majority of the respondents found black as the most preferred color to wear for job interviews, business meetings, dates and other important appointments like funerals and weddings.

Although some people might view black color as a hue of gloom and death, most of the surveyed people thoughts black is a powerful color. People who wear black appear reliable and serious. The report claims that if you wish to create a good impression, whether on a first date or an interview, then black is your safest bet. 

Why? 

Black makes us look confident, capable and trustworthy.

The survey found:

  • Over 56% of respondents preferred black as the definitive color of confidence.
  • About 64% of men prefer black, while around 48% of women favor it.

The report stated “Throughout all our survey, black came first or second in most “good” traits (for example confidence, intelligence, and sexiness) and barely figured in the “bad” traits (arrogance).”  It added “…Black is the color to wear when you’re trying to impress, reassure or woo. There’s certain trustworthiness about it on a person that would make you hand over your life savings and thank them for the privilege.”

You don’t need to be a goth or a fashion expert to love black. If you are intelligent, sexy and confident, you will be attracted to this beautiful color and wear black on most days. Black is the most soothing, sensitive, bold, gorgeous and confidence-boosting color ever.

What it says about you

“Black is always elegant. It is the most complete color in the whole world, made of all the colors in the palette.” – Ricardo Tisci

Black clothes help to shift the focus from your appearance to your personality. When you wear black clothing, people perceive you as sensitive, purposeful, ambitious and successful. It is considered that people who mostly wear black are highly emotional, but they are good at hiding their feelings. 

12 Ways to Spot a Misogynist

12 Ways to Spot a Misogynist

Misogyny is an unavoidable reality in this age of equal rights and women empowerment. Mostly referred to as men who have a hatred for women, you will be surprised to know how many women end up in a relationship with a misogynist.

But how can you know if your loving caring partner is a misogynist? There are ways to spot a misogynist if you know what to look for.

The misogynists. You may have heard of them. But what you may not realize is that they can be anywhere around you.

They are notoriously hard to spot. They do not come with a label attached, and they may even come across as pro-woman.

In most cases, misogynists do not even know that they hate women. Misogyny is typically an unconscious hatred that men form early in life, often as a result of a trauma involving a female figure they trusted. An abusive or negligent mother, sister, teacher or girlfriend can plant a seed deep down in their brain’s subcortical matter.

Once planted, this seed will germinate and begin to grow, the tiny root working its way into the fear processing and memory areas of the brain as its tiny stem works its way into frontal areas of the brain, affecting emotion and rational decision-making.

The first signs of misogyny are barely noticeable, but with additional exposure to neglect, abuse, or lack of treatment, this behavioral seeding will grow larger and more prominent. But even when the misogyny reaches maturity and the tendency toward acting with hatred toward women can no longer be controlled, the misogynist and the women around him will often fail to notice the condition until it’s too late.

 

The following traits are typical of the misogynist:

1. He will zero in on a woman and choose her as his target. Her natural defenses may be down because he’s flirtatious, exciting, fun, and charismatic at first.

2. As time goes on, he begins to reveal a Jekyll & Hyde personality. He may change quickly from irresistible to rude, and from rude back to irresistible.

3. He will make promises to women and often fail to keep them. With men, on the other hand, he will almost always keep his word.

4. He will be late for appointments and dates with women, but be quite punctual with men.

5. His behavior toward women, in general, is grandiose, cocky, controlling, and self-centered.

6. He is extremely competitive, especially with women. If a woman does better than him socially or professionally, he feels terrible. If a man does better, he may have mixed feelings about it but he is able to look at the situation objectively.

7. He will unknowingly treat women differently from men in the workplace and social settings, allowing men various liberties for which he will criticize female colleagues or friends.

8. He will be prepared (unconsciously) to use anything within his power to make women feel miserable. He may demand sex or withhold sex in his relationships, make jokes about women or put them down in public, “borrow” their ideas in professional contexts without giving them credit or borrow money from them without paying them back.

9. On a date, he will treat a woman the opposite of how she prefers. If she is an old-style lady who prefers a “gentleman” who holds the door for her, orders for both and pays for the meal, he will treat her like one of his male buddies, order for himself, and let her pay for the whole meal if she offers (and sometimes even if she doesn’t). If she is a more independent type who prefers to order her own meal and pay for herself, he will rudely order for both and pay the check while she goes to the bathroom.

10. Sexually, he likes to control women and gives little or no attention to their sexual pleasure. Foreplay, if it occurs at all, is only a necessary means to an end. He likes oral sex but only as a recipient. His favorite positions enable him to avoid looking for the woman in her eyes.

11. He will cheat on women he is dating or in a relationship with. Monogamy is the last thing he feels he owes a woman.

The Ultimate Relationship Deal Breaker For Each MBTI Personality Type

The Ultimate Relationship Deal-Breaker For Each MBTI Personality Type

Relationship Deal breaker : Watch out for the red flags.

Falling in love is a complex process. And, sometimes you miss the signs that can make a difference to your relationship happiness.

In the beginning, you’re either drawn to someone because you have shared interests or because the spark is so strong you can hardly ignore it.

Opposites often attract, and this is because you’re seeking different characteristics to complete yourself.

The person who has a preference for introversion may be charmed by the extrovert’s ease in large social situations, or the planning type might want to live vicariously through their spontaneous partner’s go-with-the-flow attitude.

But when the differences are too stark, they become difficult to overcome. The endearing trait you fell in love with, suddenly becomes a go or no-go situation: a relationship deal-breaker.

Getting to know your Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® can help identify your innate preferences – and your partner’s – as well as potential pitfalls.

Armed with the knowledge of your personality types, you can work on accepting each other, and consciously work toward romantic bliss. Or, you can be honest about what you need and make the heart-wrenching call to move on.

The Ultimate Relationship Deal-Breaker For Each MBTI Personality Type
Ultimate Relationship Deal Breaker

Every personality type has its ultimate relationship deal-breaker. Here are the showstoppers for the Extraverted types:

Relationship Deal breakers for Extroverts

ESFP: Risk aversion

The typical ESFP has an adventurous streak, and they need a free spirit to join them as they explore life. They might tolerate a random phobia, but generally, their patience wears thin. They don’t want to be unkind – in fact, they make accommodations in the beginning because they are so compassionate. At the same time, they can’t feel stifled in the relationship.

 

ESFJ: Someone who needs saving

ESFJs are loyal types who want to map out their future and care for the ones they love. While they enjoy a little fun and they give their last dollar to help someone out, long-term ESFJs want to be with someone who has their life together. They want to be giving and receiving love equally, and planning a life jointly, side by side.

 

ENTP: Boredom

If ENTPs are not activating their curiosity and continually learning, they’re going to get bored. Give them the opportunity, and challenge in any arena – including love, and they are satisfied with life.

 

ENTJ: Perception of disloyalty

These goal-oriented strategic planners are the same in love as they are business. And, they put you through a million tests to judge your worthiness and loyalty. They can be very supportive and share their partner’s success, but if they get an impression that you’re not as loyal to them – whether or not it’s true — you’ll be out so fast your head will spin!

 

ESTP: Controlling behavior

ESTPs like to swoop in and be the hero. They’ll help anyone out of a bind, and they’ll give you fun, excitement, and gifts when they are in love. Until they need their space to go out and do the things they need to do. If you apply pressure, this gregarious type worries that they are missing out, and any attempts to control them backfire.

 

ESTJ: Too many surprises

The ESTJ finally falls in love when they can let go of control. That isn’t easy for this take-charge individual. Too much of a good thing isn’t good; though. Anyone who breaks their trust or brings too much instability is not going to last. The ESTJs deal-breaker is too many surprises.

 

ENFP: Close mindedness

The ENFP yearns to be free to explore their dreams. They are open, passionate types, and nothing holds them back. When they feel walls from and are given limits by a significant other, that’s a signal that the relationship can’t move forward.

 

ENFJ: Emotionally detached

This type has a lot to offer someone in a relationship. They’re warm and giving, and in the end, they want someone to care for them in return. Detached, overly independent types won’t go far with ENFJs. They need someone who nurtures them and their relationship.

 

Here’s what stops a relationship in its tracks for Introverts:

Relationship Deal breakers for Introverts

ISFP: Lack of acceptance

ISFPs are deep and creative. They live for their artistry and acceptance of their uniqueness. When they feel appreciated by their loved one to their core, and they are able to enjoy a shared experience of art in its many forms, they want for nothing else. Make them feel rejected and the relationship is over as the last exhibit at the museum.

6 Ways Being An Emotional Person Is A Blessing In Disguise

Are you an emotional person? Here’s why you are amazing! 

If we lack emotional intelligence, whenever stress rises the human brain switches to autopilot and has an inherent tendency to do more of the same, only harder.  Which, more often than not, is precisely the wrong approach in today’s world. -Robert K. Cooper

I am generally too emotional. My initial response to every stimulus is through the expression of emotions and not through reason and logic. No doubt, people ask me to tone down my emotionality a lot of times. They would not leave a chance to tell me why being so high on emotions has a negative impact on my “image”. 

So what do I do? Oh well, I turn to tell them, it’s a part of me and I embrace it with all my strength.

This has been going on since my childhood when I was taught to ‘toughen up’ and never give in to being “too emotional”. What my parents really meant, maybe, was to never be “weak” in my life. 

And there, I must say, my parents, got it wrong, as the rest of us do!

Being an emotional person has nothing to do with being mentally weak.

being too emotional

I believe, also would like you all to believe, that being emotional is not synonymous with being weak. As a human being what else is expected of you? If you do not use your power to feel, then what’s the use of having this asset?

Dale Carnegie says,

When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion.

We aren’t machines. We are all gifted with the power to feel and we should be extremely proud of it.

If you are someone high on emotional intelligence, you will be able to relate to these 6 perks of being an emotional person:

6 Ways Being An Emotional Person Is A Blessing In Disguise

1. Being emotional leads to meaningful relationships.

Letting others peek into your vulnerabilities might seem a bit too much for you, but it’s the ultimate strength. Being able to feel the other person, and also effectively display one’s emotions takes a person to have higher emotionality. 

Whether it’s a romantic or platonic relationship, the exchange of emotions fosters understanding. Emotions make two people more connected. It acts as a nourishing agent to full forward a relationship.

Two emotional people in a relationship make for a wonderful couple, who can easily sense and cater to each other. 

2. Being emotional intensifies your experiences.

If you are an over emotional being, you sure must have noticed that your experiences are generally more intense, potent and exceptionally overwhelming in nature.

You perceive everything more passionately, more genuinely and more ardently as compared to others. These make these experiences more memorable, closer to your heart and gives life the meaning other people might be missing out on.

For you, the world is full of possibilities, excitement, and enthusiasm. Life seems more colorful, fun and free when every single experience is tied closely to your emotions.

3. Being emotional helps you keep in touch with your empathetic nature.

Empathy Word Cloud

We often fail to put ourselves in other people’s shoes ad look from their level. A handful of our misunderstandings, interpersonal conflicts and arguments come from this very fact. To be able to consider the perceptions of other people is a huge capacity. We call it empathy.

Empathy begins with understanding life from another person’s perspective. Nobody has an objective experience of reality. It’s all through our own individual prisms. – Sterling K. Brown

People who are high on emotional intelligence are linked to having a higher ability to express and identify the emotional expressions of other people.

These provide them with the ability to be empathetic to other people’s emotions and with a heightened capacity to understand them and their emotions. If you are emotional in nature, you have an enhanced capacity to identify other people’s emotions as your own and hence acquire a better understanding of them.

 

4. Being emotional helps you better adapt to new situations.

When you are too emotional, you feel everything deeper, you understand everything deeper, you analyze everything in detail. Nothing for you is superficial; you penetrate deeply to the core of every matter and try to understand it. Because halfway is not your way. 

These give you an overall knowledge about the specific matter and your experiences are richer than your less emotional counterparts. When an experience is loaded with emotions, it has a stronger impact on us. It teaches us important life lessons that we never forget in a hurry.

We can use these accumulations of experiences, along with the emotionality associated with it, to better deal with similar situations in the future.

Are Narcissists Evil? Or Are They Just Helpless?

Are Narcissists Evil

Do narcissists realize that they are hurting us? Do they know that they are expert liars and manipulators? Or are they like this just because of some psychological disorder? Do they have a good heart deep down? Can they change if they really wanted to? The answer to these questions is not easy to answer. The first thing you need to realize is all of us are unique and behave in very complicated ways.

Most people who have been on the receiving end of narcissistic abuse have wondered just how much blame they should place on the narcissist. I am frequently asked:

Are people with narcissistic personality disorders simply bad people who choose to hurt others but could control themselves if they tried? Or are they good people who are doing the best that they can but cannot control themselves?

Unfortunately, there is no simple answer to this question. People are complex. I do not think we can simply label people with narcissistic adaptations as either good or bad. Nor can we always draw a clear line between what we can control and what is controlling us.

Even people without personality disorders are continually struggling to put their ego and personal desires aside and do what they know to be the right thing. Human nature has not changed in thousands of years.

Our struggle is aptly described by the Apostle Paul in Romans 7:19—For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.

So how does this apply to people with narcissistic personality disorders?

When I think of the variety of people who qualify for a diagnosis of NPD, I see quite a range of people—from those that want to be good people to those who do not care whom they hurt. Most narcissistic people fall somewhere in between, like the rest of us.

Note: I am using the terms “narcissist” or “narcissistic” as a shorthand way of referring to people who exhibit the pattern of thinking and behavior that is commonly diagnosed as a narcissistic personality disorder. I personally prefer the term “narcissistic adaptation,” because it emphasizes that this pattern was initially a creative adjustment intended to maximize the amount of love, attention, and support the child would receive from his or her caregivers.

So why do people with narcissistic adaptations tend to do more harm in intimate relationships than most non-narcissists?

The “Good Narcissist”

Some people with NPD are trying their best to be good people but are handicapped by their narcissistic adaptation. Their extreme self-centeredness, lack of emotional empathy, and lack of “whole object relations” and “object constancy” distorts their view of interpersonal situations.

A few brief definitions of the above terms are likely to be helpful to the reader:

Whole object relations:

This is the ability to see yourself and other people in a realistic, stable, and integrated way that recognizes that everyone has both good and bad qualities and liked and disliked traits.

Without whole object relations, narcissists cannot form a stable integrated picture of anyone. They tend to place everyone into two basic boxes: Either they are special, perfect, unique, and entitled to special treatment (high status) or they are worthless, pathetic, garbage and entitled to only what the “special people” choose to give them (low status).

Object constancy:

This is the capacity to maintain your positive emotional connection to someone when you feel hurt, angry, frustrated, or disappointed with them. It is also the ability to maintain this sense of connection with someone who is not physically present.

Without object constancy, narcissists can literally be saying “I love you” one moment, then 10 minutes later switch to “I hate you” because they did not like something you just said or did.

Emotional empathy:

This is the ability to feel another person’s joy or pain. Narcissists lack emotional empathy, so they have less feedback about the other person’s reactions and less reason to care. They do have “intellectual empathy,” the ability to think about what the other person is likely to be feeling. However, in the middle of a fight, they are highly unlikely to do this because of their lack of object constancy.

 

Most of the hurt that narcissists cause is the result of two basic sets of issues:

1. The need to retaliate to protect their self-esteem

Blame and retaliation:

During any sort of disagreement, or even a fairly neutral situation, as soon as narcissists start to feel bad, they are likely to see whomever they are with as responsible for their discomfort. They quickly move from blaming the other person to angrily retaliating.

Justification:

They feel justified because, without whole object relations or object constancy, they now see the other person as the all-bad enemy. In addition, they have temporarily lost touch with any positive past history between them and the other person.

Fragile self-esteem:

Their fragile self-esteem makes it extremely painful for them to become aware of their part in causing a fight. They do not even try to see how they might be at fault because that would pierce their narcissistic defenses and result in them feeling imperfect and deeply shamed.

Difficulty apologizing:

After they calm down, they may realize that they over-reacted and regret it. Unfortunately, their underlying shaky self-esteem makes it very unlikely they will admit they were wrong and apologize. Instead, they are likely to make a reparative gesture, such as giving the person a present.

However, if the other person wants to talk about what happened, they are likely to become very defensive and feel attacked. Then the cycle of blame and retaliation and reparation may start all over again.

What is My Couple Personality?

Couple Personality

Your relationship is as unique as you are. Just like you have your own individual personality, your relationship also has its own personality. When you combine your and your partner’s personalities together, what you get is your couple personality.

 

What is your Couple Personality like?

What do you do on a date? Do you prefer Netflix & Chill or dinner and a movie or something new and exciting? How well do you two connect? What is your relationship style? What personality describes you and your significant other as a couple?

Your couple personality not only reveals how compatible you two are, it also tells you about what state your relationship is in. It can help you understand how you and your partner view your relationship and which direction it is headed to.

If you want to improve your relationship, then this couple personality test can help you become more aware about your relationship and understand how close you are to your partner.

 

Know Your Couple Personality

Find out what type of couple personality you have by taking this quick and fun quiz. Answer the questions as honestly as you can to discover your relationship personality right now.

Start Quiz


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Couple Personality

Empaths and Low Self-Esteem: How You Can Set Yourself Free

Empaths and Low Self Esteem

Empaths usually suffer from low confidence and low self-esteem as they a highly sensitive by nature. They are natural healers and tend to take everything they experience by heart. This type of intense sensitivity can often lead to low confidence in them.

From my experience as a life coach, all empaths have low self-confidence and self esteem. It’s almost a rule. Low self-confidence is also one thing that takes them out of balance the most.

Being empath and lightworker myself, I’ve struggled with low self-confidence too. In my case, it wasn’t about the obvious things like appearance or relationships, but it went deeper. I struggled with confidence in myself and my ability to set myself free from the world I was born into.

All I could see were people being deeply asleep, and it suffocated me. I felt an energetic heaviness everywhere around me, and I hoped that one day, I’d be able to create a different world. Yet, as time had passed, I met more people who were deeply hurting me, and that heaviness was getting thicker.

So my confidence had a lot to do with my ability to find the way to stay true to myself in the midst of the darkness. And at the same time, find the way out and transform that darkness or let dissipate that which didn’t want to be transformed.

As you can see, empaths have low self-esteem and confidence, and it can go deeper than one may think. For me, finding myself and my worth was a life-changing journey. And I hope that this article will bring you some shifts in your perception around your low self-confidence.

 

Why do empaths have low self-confidence / self-esteem?

One of the reasons why empaths have low self-confidence is because their energetic fields are wide open. Empaths and lightworkers play a big role in assisting others in healing their deep wounds.

To be able to help others heal, empaths are naturally open and sensitive to any imbalances going on within others. They have special antennas that pick up any disturbing signal, and they take it into their bodies in order to bring it back to alignment.

Instead of developing foundations in their lives, empaths focus primarily on others.

They miss step one after being born, which is to develop a strong core within themselves. Thus their sense of self is blurred and unclear. Energetically speaking, empaths don’t have boundaries, so their energetic bodies tend to merge with others.

Since we’ve been accustomed to this merging of energies since we were little, it feels like all that messy energy that surrounds us, belongs to us.

As our energetic field is wide open, we also develop deep wounds that make it more challenging to find trust in self. One of the most healing ways to heal low self-confidence is to address those subconscious wounds in our psyche and energetic body and bring them back to light.

 

Shift in perception

I devoted two years to full-time healing myself, and it allowed me to step into my life purpose. However, you can begin by shifting your perception. What I ask you to do may feel unnatural at first, but if you don’t give up, it’ll help you with low self-confidence.

As I mentioned above, naturally, you focus on others. You can immediately feel their feelings and unspoken words. This is something that you do very well, but if you continue being wide open all the time, it’ll be challenging to find balance and inner peace. So, I challenge you to do the very opposite of what you’re used to doing.

Stop focusing on how others perceive you and how they feel about you.

Empaths have low self-confidence because they focus too much on others. While doing that, you can’t know who you are. You can’t know what is YOUR energy and what belongs to others. You don’t know where you end and where others begin.

Although the merging of energetic bodies is one of the steps to oneness; you don’t need to take in somebody’s pain. This doesn’t serve either of you. This is NOT the way you heal others.

So, bring your attention back into your being. Stop solving other people’s perceptions of you. It doesn’t matter because everyone will always think something and there is no way for you to control that.

8 Reasons Why An Alpha Woman Is The Best Partner You Can Ever Have

Alpha Woman Best Partner

She wasn’t looking for a knight. She was looking for a sword. – Atticus

alpha females

An alpha woman is the new age warrior. Her flare, her elegance, her attitude, the poised sense of self, her kindness – everything is a breathtakingly stunning thing to behold.

While most people are not sure about their direction in life, an alpha woman clearly is a no-nonsense, hardworking, ambitious woman with a sense of purpose and direction in life. They are killing female stereotypes, ever since they have been conceptualized. If you believe that the only place a woman is supposed to be is in the kitchen, an alpha woman is not your cup of coffee! 

Once you encounter one of these alpha women, you will either collect your triggered male ego and run to the opposite direction or be forever enraptured by her presence and stay. There’s no in-between with these absolutely wonderful creations of God.

I will give you a luring 8 reasons why an alpha woman is the best partner you can ever have in your life (only if you are ready to accept her the way she is!). Because always remember, she is in charge of herself, knows what she wants and you are not a necessity, you are a cherry on the cake – optional.

the type of man

Here are the 8 reasons why an alpha woman is the best partner you can ever have:

1. Reliability

Can you always count on your partner? Do you believe that your partner will make up for the times you are not at your best?

A relationship entails both the partners to be able to rely on each other, trust each other and be emotionally mature and strong enough to take matters into one’s own responsibility.

Are you both gonna be late from office? Rely on your alpha woman to finish office chores, pick up the kids and also make snacks for you. 

She is an extremely well-balanced individual who exudes self-integrity

Also, stay rest assured that she will keep her promises of sticking with you through thick and thin, as her belief system is as strongly defined as her boundaries.

 

2. Zero melodrama

An alpha woman doesn’t take the shelter of petty melodrama to consistently fish attention out of you. They neither have the patience, nor the time for that bullshit.

If you have some conflict with her, she would prefer to talk about it and resolve it as soon as possible, instead of dealing with the issue with passive-aggressive techniques.

She doesn’t stoop down enough to hold on to secret grudges against you to use them as grenades in future arguments like, “2 years ago, on 1st March, at 20 hours 30 minutes 23 seconds, you asked me to shut up so we are gonna fight over it today!”

What’s the brownie point she carries home? 

You will forget about slamming doors, blame games, guilt trips, and other such manipulative techniques as she will always be transparent with you. Zero drama. 

 

3. Clinginess? Forget about that

You remember right, that she is with you because she wants to be with you, not because she needs you? If you believe that you threatening to leave her will have any effect on her, then you are thoroughly mistaken.

Well, the bitter truth is, she will be equally happy being alone and single as she is with you. She is not desperate to be in a relationship with you hence doesn’t require your constant approval or appreciation to function in life. 

She will respect and value your need for personal space and never whine and cry for that extra dose of attention. 

 

4. A constant inspiration

She gives zero F to nonsense, this includes your lame excuses of not being able to pursue your dreams. 

If you ever find yourself procrastinating, discouraged, lagging behind, slumping and wanting to give up on yourself, she will be the kick to your demotivated self.

This is not because she loves to exercise control, but because she is a good judge of your potential. She knows what you can achieve and will always keep influencing, challenging and inspiring you to give your best.

Are you A High Maintenance or a Low Maintenance Girl?

Are you A High Maintenance or a Low Maintenance Girl pin

Have you been called high maintenance lately? Here’s what he was saying to you…

There are three sides to the maintenance equation.

  1. Physical
  2. Emotional
  3. Financial

Scott Mayer a relationship expert from DatingAppsAdvice explains: “‘low maintenance’ means you only want what is easy for the other person to provide.” I really like his definition since I think it’s a valuable piece of insight. Some guys/girls also really LIKE when their mate is put together all the time and a bit of a challenge to please. So being called “High” isn’t the worst thing in the world from the right person. If you are a guy or girl dating someone you consider “high maintenance,” I guess you just really have to ask yourself if you can afford them or not. If yes, great! And if you are a “high maintenance” girl avoiding the bitchy side of it, you may be the best of all worlds for many men who can afford your tastes.

Just don’t fool yourself about your level of expectations. As Harry Burns says in “When Harry Met Sally” (where all of this originated): “You’re the worst kind. You’re high maintenance but you think you’re low maintenance.”

According to Scott to most guys, a “high maintenance girl” is one who exhibits several or all of the following qualities (for definition of “Low” maintenance just draw the opposite comparison):

Are You A High Maintenance or a Low Maintenance Girl? Find out below

1. Physical Maintenance:

  • you take more than 20 minutes getting ready every morning
  • all of your prep works tends to pay off since you are considered “hot” by any standard except a hippy’s.
  • you have more than one “personal care” appointment each week. For example… you can safely get a manicure every week without being termed “high” but if you get a mani/pedi, wax and blow out every Friday… you are a “high” maintenance kind of girl.
  • you don’t get in the pool, lake or ocean because it might mess up your hair and makeup
  • you wear stilettos and jewelry to lounge by the pool
  • you don’t like animals because they leave pet hair on your clothes — but you think Poodles, Havanese and those hairless cats are acceptable… especially when the Poodles have that cute little pom pom type cut…
  • you require a 30 minute to hour pit stop between each activity to change clothes and re-apply makeup
  • he’s never seen you without makeup
  • you refuse to go anywhere on a whim — its very important to you that you dress the occasion
  • you really are too delicate to do anything like yard work or trash detail. Washing dishes gives you the hives.
  • your dry cleaner, cobbler, tailor, waxer, trainer, tanning salon, hair and nail people all know you by name and have put up a plaque with your name thanking you for your support.

2. Emotional High Maintenance:

  • If he gets a phone call — you MUST know who it is and why they are calling.
  • If he doesn’t pay you a compliment every time he sees you (this includes when you leave the room and walk back in) — he isn’t “treating [you] right.”
  • Never EVER tease about the way you look. EVER.
  • You insist on going out on the town even when your guy might be a little under the weather or stressed out. He’ll get over it.
  • He must not EVER mention the time you got into that embarrassing situation where someone saw you without your “face” on.
  • If you call him, he’d better pick it up within the first two rings. Text, email or IM him — and he’d better return it within two minutes.
  • No looking at or thinking about other women. Period.
  • No female friends. period.
  • you are totally ok with being considered vain and think more people should try it on for size. In fact, you find yourself drifting away from friends and lovers who may not be “pretty enough” to meet your standards.
  • you are serious when you judge other women or men for lack of grooming, trendy dressing and hair removal.
  • the Sally type food ordering of “When Harry Met Sally” fame

Are you an HSP? 10 Ways To Know If You Are Highly Sensitive

Wondering if you are a highly sensitive person? You just might be. The fact is over 20 percent of the population are HSPs. But how can you know if you are an HSP?

 

Are you in touch with your emotions?

Emotional intelligence is the quality of being able to “…recognize their own emotions and those of others, discern between different feelings and label them appropriately.”

So it should come as no surprise that if you’re in tune with your emotions and sensitive not only to your own emotional health or state but also to those around you, that you might be a “highly sensitive person.”

Highly sensitive people are those who have a greater awareness of emotions and feelings than other people and know how to accurately tap into these feelings and experience them.

Our vibrant blue-green planet is filled with beauty, trees, flowers, bees, creatures, and magic. When you step out into nature and let your mind settle, it’s right there. You can’t help but feel her magic, and it’s easy to open your senses and receive the energies, the beauty, and this sense of magic.

This all happens through your senses and not through your busy mind. When your mind settles, you’re able to listen to your body, your senses, and the stillness within.

A sensitive person should be treasured

Why are you not in touch with this all the time?

It’s because you’ve gotten lost in the busy world of technology and rarely take the time to unplug from your computers and from your mind.

Why is it so hard to just sink into the space inside where you have access to your senses, your wisdom, and your presence?

Unfortunately, being sensitive is not valued in this world, yet it’s certainly not uncommon in this world to feel “sensitive.”

Being made to feel wrong for that, unfortunately, is not uncommon, either.

Consequently, it’s far too common that you make yourself wrong for being sensitive.

You need to not only normalize what it means to be sensitive but also start acknowledging its value.

Being sensitive, intuitive, empathic or perceptive are beautiful qualities that are powerful and much needed counter balance in a world that has become desensitized to the basic needs of humanity.

Not just to your five senses, though. I’m talking about all the finer senses that make you aware of what is outside the common five senses.

For many of us, these finer senses are more present now because they carry the solution to a healthy, happy, caring world.

If you are able to recognize yourself in any of these signs below, you are one of those blessed beings who will make a difference in the world by honoring your wisdom and natural knowing through your senses.

It may be a little challenging at first to acknowledge this to be an asset after eons of believing it was a flaw!

 

Here are 10 signs that you’re a sensitive person and how to acknowledge and celebrate this personality trait:

1. You naturally check in with your body and your sensations

This is so you know whats going on around you and what course of action is best for you.

You just know without having to understand why. Your body is your GPS and guides you through life.

If it weren’t that other people want you to be more rational, you would confidently follow your inner knowing all the time.

 

2. You “feel” other people

If others don’t feel well, you can’t help, but still, want to do something about it. If they don’t feel good, it affects you and it’s hard for you.

Any kind of discord moves through your body as if it is yours. In order for you to feel better, it sure helps when they feel better, right?

There is another way to feel good even though others don’t.

What it Really Means to be an Empath

What it Really Means to be an Empath

Empaths are highly sensitive people with limitless sense of empathy towards other people. 

From the time we were children, it’s likely that some of us have worshipped characters that can read minds and pre-empt thoughts, save the day by staying a mind-step ahead of the bad guy and so on.

We’ve read of magic pills, powerful potions and psychic powers, and we’ve been swayed. Now that we’re grown up and can settle for what’s closer to what we can understand and logically explain, the term “empath” may make more sense, even if it didn’t come with any magic or superhero powers.

But believe it or not, some of you reading this might already be empaths, with your share of gifts and sensitivities, for whether you know it or not, empaths often make the world a better place. 

 

Who is an Empath?

An empath is a highly sensitive human being who is prone to sensing and feeling more, even that which is experienced by other people.

Empaths are said to absorb the emotions that other people feel and in some examples, are cited as people who are able to tap into the the mood of a room, almost as soon as they walk into it.

From a more spiritual sense, the word is sometimes used to mean someone who is able to intuit more than the average person and may even exhibit certain psychic powers. Because of a more fine-tuned energetic make-up, empaths tend to become ridden with anxiety and stress. 

 

Are you an Empath?

As you may have already figured out, the term empath is a large one. It includes all kinds of people with the common trait of a highly sensitive temperament.

So what if you’re coming across this term for the first time and also trying to find out if you’re an empath yourself.

 

The following are feeling and behavioural traits that most empaths share. 

1- The need for “alone time”

The response mechanism empaths come with to the world is usually very refined, allowing them to “read” underlying themes in interactions and moods, compared to an average person.

But while this sounds like a boon that anyone would willingly invite to themselves, the fact is that it is as much a curse. The highly-sensitive nature of an empath predisposes them to feel drained and consumed, especially in the company of large crowds. Does this ring a bell?

 

2- The need to avoid “certain people”

If you by now, have a sense of how empaths function, you’ll know it’s a paradoxical state. While empaths, by definition, hold a reservoir of empathy, they’re also the same people who can easily fall under the mercy of energy vampires.

Like empaths, energy vampires are of many different kinds. The Oppressor, the Victim and the Drama Queen are just a few examples. If you’ve been an empath, it’s highly likely that you’ve felt the need to get away from certain people, while also feeling the need to interact with them and “help them out”.

This side to an empath’s behaviour typically continue until they become aware that they need to find ways to interact without giving up on their own well-being. 

 

3- The need to “stay away” from intimate relationships

We’re back to discussing the paradoxical nature of empaths that makes them want to stay and run away!

The reason why many empaths unconsciously choose to weave in and out of relationships, so that their personal space is not hacked away.

This relates back to empaths wanting “alone time”, which again is connected to people feeding on the energy of empaths. Be in in close friendships or intimate relationships, empaths tend to want space that is unquestioned and unhindered.

Traditional formats of friendships and partnerships may not work for these people, because they’re constantly trying to tread a fine line between togetherness and independence. If this cause-effect explanation sounds familiar to you, then you could well fall into the category of empaths. 

 

Apart from the above, here are a number of questions Dr. Judith Orloff, the author behind “The Empath’s Survival Guide”, says you could ask yourself if you think you could be an empath :

  • Have people called me “highly sensitive” in the past?
  • If a friend is overwhelmed, do I start feeling it too?
  • Do I often feel like my feelings are not respected?
  • Do I easily get stimulated by noise, smells or too much talk?
  • Would I rather take my car to places so that I can leave whenever I want?
  • Am I fearful intimate relationships will drown me with their intensity?
  • Do I eat more as a way of coping with stress?

 

How can you take care as an Empath? 

By this time, it must be amply clear to you, that being an empath can be taxing. The impacts it comes with are real and can contribute to stress, tiredness and in some cases, even depression.

So, whether you’re an empath or know a loved one who may be, self-care is an important investment. While self-care in itself is a really broad category of actions, for empaths, it may mean a set of to-dos that can allay the overwhelm and the consequent helplessness.

20 Things You Do Differently Because You’re A Highly Sensitive Person

Things You Do Differently Because You are A Highly Sensitive Person

As a highly sensitive person, I can sense your mood from a mile away. Don’t try to hide it. You’re not fooling me ― Tracy M. Kusmierz

Have people labeled you as a great listener?

Do random strangers turn up to you for advice?

Are you able to catch up on subtle signs that most people would miss? Do you have a high level of self awareness and can also read people without them uttering a word?

 If any of these resonate with you, then you might be a Highly Sensitive person (HSP) .

The terms Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) or Sensory processing sensitivity (SPS) were originally founded in 1990’s by research psychologist Elaine Aron ,who stated that it is an inherent trait in people with highly sensitive nervous systems that helps them to better deal with the world by being more observant before acting.

Research shows that HSPs actually undergo increased blood flow in the areas of the brain that process emotion, awareness and empathy. In Fact, most of the HSPs are often empaths who have an innate ability to feel other people’s emotions, feelings and needs.

They also have very rich inner worlds due to their heightened sensitivity and keen observation skills. They can very easily be awed by the beauty of a sunset or a fragrance of a flower.

Because of their hyperactive nervous system and heightened senses, they need a lot of alone time to recharge from the over stimulation of their senses. Intermittent Solitude is very essential and grounding for HSPs and a non negotiable if they want to function at their optimum capacity.

Knowing that you are an HSP and how your system operates can really help you to make the best use of your gifts of empathy and sensitivity.

highly sensitive people

Wondering if you’re an HSP, read on!

Here are 20 ways how being an HSP you behave differently:

In public

1. You tend to shut down in loud or over crowded places

Since you have a hyperactive sensory system, you tend to get overwhelmed in crowded or loud places.

You occasionally shut down or zone out mentally to escape the over stimulation of your senses or you try to leave such places physically as soon as possible.

 

2.  You avoid news or media about suffering or abuse

You avoid consuming content about any sort of suffering, injustice or abuse.

 

3. You are very compassionate and kind

You are so sensitive to even  the pain and suffering of others that you can start to feel their suffering as your own. You are so big on compassion and empathy that slightest pain or suffering abound you, can move you to tears.

 

4. You get anxious during conflicts or disagreements

Being an HSP, you tend to avoid conflicts or even minor disagreements because they can really overwhelm you. You can get really stressed and anxious if someone raises their voice at you.

In relationships also, the mood and feelings of your significant other can make you physically unwell and can affect your sleep or eating cycles.

You can even get nervous and uncomfortable watching two strangers fight because you are very sensitive and tend to absorb other people’s emotions and energy.