It happened in a split second and I almost let it negatively change my life forever. But I didn’t and I’m so grateful.
I loved him and I trusted him and then he hit me and choked me and sexually assaulted me and cheated on me. I was devastated. My world was crashing down around me and I felt betrayed, powerless, worthless and humiliated.
I found a small bit of the feisty me and charged him. In Ontario, the police file the charges and he was arrested and put in jail. And then the insult upon injury happened – his girlfriend bailed him out of jail!
So it ended. I was unceremoniously thrust into the label of “victim”. At the time it satisfied many of my needs. I could cry and whine. I could drink excessively. I could feel sorry for myself. I could be self-destructive. I could treat men like garbage. I could be a righteous bitch. I could believe that it was okay because I WAS A VICTIM!
I had other negative labels that had been attached by “that guy” – loser, stupid, useless, ugly, fat, etc. You catch my drift.
There I was stuck with labels and limiting beliefs that were certainly not the kind to live a vibrant and happy life.
I longed for the me that was free and confident and could do anything she set her mind too. I wanted to find her again and love her and be her. I wanted to fulfill my dreams.
Underneath all the labels I had acquired was “me” and I wanted her back. I wanted to write new chapters for my life. Chapters that were filled with happiness, brightness, joy, passion and life.
I can confidently declare myself a “Rebel Thriver” who’s loving life every minute of every day.
It is possible to live and love your life after abuse and betrayal.
By Susan Ball