People who have been single for too long

People who have been single for too long are the hardest to love. They have become so used to being single, independent and self-sufficient that it takes something extraordinary to convince them that they need you in their life.

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29 COMMENTS

  1. It’s so true. It takes someone pretty dang special to get me to even slightly imagine, let alone be in, a relationship. However I think certain life experiences, even if it’s not a romantic relationship, can teach the skills needed to make a relationship work. Perpetually single people have this stigma of being selfish, guarded, and just too independent. However if during your single life you have practiced selflessness, vulnerability, and interdependence with someone outside of romantics that it can almost make you a better partner. I think practicing those traits outside of a relationship show you are willing to do those things without expecting sex or any perk for being a decent person which often times translates to romantic relationships. And in my eyes, doing without the motive of receiving is paramount for healthy relationships; romantic or otherwise.

    • So true. I guess the way I see it is I’m going to stick my neck out there and commit because I want the person in my life not to heal me but to travel through life with me. If I neeeed them then I really better sit my butt down in the single chair and figure out what’s got me feeling so needy. If I “need” someone that’s a big red flag for me to get a feel for what’s going on that has me feeling that way. If I’m going to get into a relationship it’s because I want them in my life, it’s not a necessity.

  2. It’s so true. It takes someone pretty dang special to get me to even slightly imagine, let alone be in, a relationship. However I think certain life experiences, even if it’s not a romantic relationship, can teach the skills needed to make a relationship work. Perpetually single people have this stigma of being selfish, guarded, and just too independent. However if during your single life you have practiced selflessness, vulnerability, and interdependence with someone outside of romantics that it can almost make you a better partner. I think practicing those traits outside of a relationship show you are willing to do those things without expecting sex or any perk for being a decent person which often times translates to romantic relationships. And in my eyes, doing without the motive of receiving is paramount for healthy relationships; romantic or otherwise.

    • Agree. I will admit that my friends don’t fill the certain kind of connection relationships do. However that’s an even bigger reason why I have stayed single… I hadn’t found someone that I actually wanted to be attached to like that, ya know? I wouldn’t say I am picky or have unrealistic standards.. It’s more that I see a lot of people who just wanna mess around and have their ego stroked. I want to be with someone who will be my equal and be proud of the ways that I am trying to better myself. I want to be with someone who is also trying to be their best self. No, not their perfect self. Just someone who when they notice something off they want to fix it. No, not into instant results. I just want someone who is down to earth and willing to be realistic. I feel so many people these days think they have to be all this and that to have a good relationship and I’m over here like just bring what you have and we will work together to create something great right where we are. It feels like people get into relationships and don’t think they need to work to understand the person they are with and be patient enough to explain yourself. Just because there is chemistry doesn’t mean you don’t have to work to make it work. And I just feel like so many people do not get that…

    • So true. I guess the way I see it is I’m going to stick my neck out there and commit because I want the person in my life not to heal me but to travel through life with me. If I neeeed them then I really better sit my butt down in the single chair and figure out what’s got me feeling so needy. If I “need” someone that’s a big red flag for me to get a feel for what’s going on that has me feeling that way. If I’m going to get into a relationship it’s because I want them in my life, it’s not a necessity.

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