10 Common Patterns Of Verbal Abuse To Watch Out For

 August 12, 2019

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Common Patterns Of Verbal Abuse



2. Patronizing Attitude

Having a condescending attitude is another form of verbal abuse. They will communicate with you in a sarcastic tone all the time and will be patronizing and disdainful. They will belittle you by making jokes and feel superior about it.

Example:

  • “You sure you want to go out without makeup? What if your friends see you like this?”
  • “If you keep eating like that you will always be crying about your weight. Geez!”

3. Criticism

Constructive criticism from your partner is always acceptable as it will help you grow. But when you face constant criticism and it eats away your self-esteem and sense of self-worth, then it is one of the patterns of verbal abuse.

Example:

  • “If you can’t even do this properly, I don’t know what you will do in life.”
  • “You’re so confused. I can always count on you to screw up everything. Thanks for ruining my day again!”

4. Degrading Comments

An abusive partner will always find a way to demean you with their words. They will make you feel bad by humiliating you and breaking your self-confidence. By using unhealthy and demeaning comments about your life, background and family, they will break your spirit. And they will do this repeatedly.

Example:

  • “You are nothing without me. You will be ruined if I left you.”
  • “Stop being a sad sack of tears. No wonder no one wants to be with you.”




 

5. Manipulation & Threats

It is never easy to know when you are being manipulated. It is certainly one of the most common patterns of verbal abuse and you won’t even realize it. They will use their words smartly to manipulate you, control you and divert your attention from their true intentions. Sometimes they can say nice things that you want to hear from your partner. While other times, they may blackmail you emotionally or make threats to make you comply.

Example:

  • “If you truly love me, then prove it. Do what I asked you.”
  • “If you don’t want to see me hurt myself, then close the door and go back to your room. We need to talk.”

 

6. Blame

Your abuser will often blame you verbally for the mistake they make. You will start thinking that their abusive words are a consequence of your behavior. They will never take any responsibility and you will end up believing that you are making them feel bad through your actions.

Example:

  • “Why do you always have to make me shout? You love making me the bad guy and playing the victim.”
  • “I don’t want to do this. But you never leave me a choice.”

 

7. Accusations

Accusations are another common form of verbal abuse. Stemming mostly from jealousy, your abuser will accuse you of doing things wrong and making you feel guilty about it. It will make you question your actions and lose confidence. This will not only affect your behavior and thoughts but also prevent you from doing what you actually want to.

Example:

  • “I know you are cheating on me. I saw they way you guys were talking.”
  • “Why can’t you give me your smartphone if there is nothing inappropriate?”



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