And there can be a time when it may be appropriate and necessary to call it quits. When you’ve given your best, kept your focus on doing your own work instead of concerning yourself with how your partner is doing; when you’ve learned the lessons that your relationship has provided you, and when continuing to make the effort leaves you feeling diminished and depleted rather than inspired, it could be time to consider the alternative.
To do so at this point is not a matter of “quitting” but rather letting go of the hopes and desires that you had of the relationship, allowing yourself to celebrate the rich experiences you shared and grieving the loss.
If we engage with others consciously and responsibly, then each relationship, regardless of the outcome, provides us with greater insights and teachings that contribute to the wisdom, compassion, and love that we have to bring to all of our future relationships. The gifts on this path are abundant and amazing.
They include courage, commitment, imagination, and compassion, and oh yes, patience, lots of it because it doesn’t happen overnight. And you get to benefit from them regardless of the outcome of your relationship. It’s a pretty good deal.
Written by Linda and Charlie Bloom
Originally appeared in Psychology Today