Parental Emotional Abuse: The Unseen Scars Left Behind

parental emotional abuse

So, choose to become aware of what your mind is telling you that stems from something you were told as a child growing up. You can catch these negative refrains and replace them with a different language that builds your confidence and gives you a chance to see another viewpoint.

If you recognize the negative refrains, you can choose to cancel them out—imagine putting a big red X through the voice that tells you you aren’t good enough. Replace this with something positive: “I’m human, and I’m just as able as anyone else to succeed,” for example.

Related: The Connection Between Verbal Abuse And Anxiety That No One Talks About

When you hear those negative refrains playing in your head, have a more neutral refrain ready to go: “My parents were compromised people who might have thought telling me I’m no good was a way to inspire me—the problem is, they were wrong. I have a lot to offer and I’m finding ways to do so.”

Make a list of sayings that you can believe to be true. Don’t be overly positive if your mind will reject this—saying “I’m a winner!” when you don’t feel like one can sometimes be discouraging and derail your progress. Instead, start small; “I’m learning to love myself and forgive myself,” for example, or, “I catch negative thoughts and replace them with things that give me confidence.”

Negative self-talk gives life to the emotional abuse and keeps it alive. While being a child may have made you feel trapped and longing to be a grown-up and free, once you are a grown-up, you can allow your own mind to help you find freedom. Those voices can’t have ongoing life unless you give it to them—change the voices to something that frees you to be the confident person you were always meant to be.


Written By Beverly D. Flaxington
Originally Appeared In Psychology Today
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