7 Painful Truths All Empaths Must Eventually Face About Narcissists

 

5 – The narcissist is not the “runner” in what you thought was a twin flame relationship

Many empaths mistake the dysfunctional undercurrents of a relationship with a narcissist as those of the twin flame runner/chaser dynamic.

Narcissists take advantage of this mistaken belief, using it as a great window of opportunity to disappear from the Empath so they can groom other supply or generally live life on their own terms, which includes pretending to be in a committed, progressive relationship, all while they secretly live life as a single person behind the Empath’s back.

Narcissists excuse themselves for this covert behavior by claiming they love the Empath too much and are frightened by the depth of their love, hence why they feel inclined to “run”.

 

6 – Even if you and the narcissist made contracts together before this lifetime, you must accept the necessity to move on without them

In the spiritual scheme of things, many people believe narcissists are put in our lives to help us evolve into healed, cosmically aware individuals.

While that may be true, we must recognize when it comes time to sever those ties and vows with the narcissist, which feels devastating for any Empathic individual with strong moral codes.  Whereas Empaths want to soothe the narcissist’s hurts and help them feel secure, the narcissist simply wants to siphon the Empath’s compassionate energy like fuel for an engine.

Even after the relationship ends, the energetic ties remain, despite the amount of time that elapses.  And even though you may be apart from them now, you’re still deeply bonded to them energetically. This can drain your energy, as well as cause symptoms of depression and hopelessness.  Therefore, it’s critical to cut the energetic ties with the narcissist so you can move on.

 

7 – Love doesn’t always conquer all

Most Empaths hold these common beliefs about love and relationships:

Where there’s a will, there’s a way.  Love conquers all.  Everyone has some good in them and deserves the benefit of the doubt.  If you want to be forgiven, you must forgive.  The Ex didn’t have any family or friends, and now I’ve “abandoned” them, too.  I wasn’t perfect, either. 

These nuggets of insight might apply to other areas of life, but not to toxic relationships.  Why? Because it gives Empaths another way to torture themselves.

It doesn’t matter if you were with your Ex for two, ten, or thirty years, it’s time to accept that you did everything within your power to salvage the relationship. The misguided fear that you could have done something differently is based on your toxic Ex having changed the goal posts continuously– and yes, it was deliberate.  This explains why every single Empath believes there is something else they could have done to save the relationship.  It’s a result of conditioning — and overwriting this belief will be part of your healing journey.

Living a healed, balanced, and happy life means accepting these painful truths, even though the Narcissist cannot.  They can’t be healed because for that to happen, they’d first need to acknowledge they are wounded.  Instead, Narcissists use fear, obligation, and guilt (FOG) to keep their targets perpetually catering to their every whim…and overlooking lies and broken promises.

Copyright © 2017 by Kim Saeed and Let Me Reach
This article was originally published on the Let Me Reach website and has been printed here with the authors permission.
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Kim Saeed
Kim Saeed is an internationally respected self-help author and educator specializing in recovery and rebuilding after toxic relationships. She is the founder of Let Me Reach, a life transformation site that teaches people to flourish after narcissistic abuse. She is the author of two Kindle bestsellers, How to Do No Contact Like a Boss! and 10 Essential Survivor Secrets to Liberate Yourself from Narcissistic Abuse. She is also writing an upcoming book, The Way of the Warrior, for Balboa Press, a division of Hay House. ⁣⁣In addition to her own site, Kim also blogs for Psych Central. Her writing has also been featured on Selfgrowth.com, Thought Catalog, The Mind's Journal, MOGUL, and EverythingEHR. She has been a guest expert on several radio shows including Mental Health News Radio, The Overwhelmed Brain, The Inner Revolution, Write of Your Life, and Codependency No More. ⁣⁣In 2016, Kim founded The New Life Academy, which is an online school dedicated to helping survivors of narcissistic abuse to restore and redesign their lives. Kim holds a Bachelor of Arts in Education and has a multidisciplinary background in teaching, organizational development, HR training, and research. Her blog, Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed, has reached 195 countries. Her work has been shared in non-profit women's shelters and has been lauded by therapists and mental health experts. You can find Kim at letmereach.com
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8 COMMENTS

  1. I read articles like this and every word is like a moment from my past life. I do take comfort in knowing that all that pain, suffering, mental and emotional abuse was not just in my head as was implied by my ex. He is long gone but the scars of his abuse will remain forever. You dont get through all that without being changed to some degree. The hardest part is allowing yourself to continue to be real with everyone else that comes into your life and accepting that your moral compass was not the one that was or is broken. But taking a chance on love again is as scary as all hell.

  2. Great article. Loved the last one about narcissists too. I tried to rate you 5 stars but for some reason is only let me rate 2. 🙁 I’m sorry. I made the rating worse. Tried 2 more times to rate 5 starts without luck. Either way. Your articles are helping me a lot. Broke up with one a couple of months ago. thank you. well done.