How To Own Your Shadow Before It Owns You: 7 Helpful Exercises

own your shadow

1. What is my relationship to power?

2. How much do I want to have power over other people?

3. How much do I want to have power over my intimate partner?

4. How much do I want to sexually control my partners?

5. How much do I want to be sexually controlled by my partners?

6. How much do I feel I deserve to be richer than other people?

7. How much do I aspire to be financially wealthy?

8. How much do I feel I am better than others?

9. How much do I feel I am especially broken/fucked up/unlovable compared to others?

10. How much do I want to use people?

11. How much do I perceive other people as sexual objects?

12. How manipulative can I be?

13. What do I hate about men?

14. What do I hate about women?

15. How much do I enjoy being manipulative?

16. How much do I judge people?

18. How much do I hate people?

19. How much do I wish certain people in my life/in the world would just die?

20. Did those questions bring up some intense thoughts for you?

21. Did you uncover any shadow thoughts that you feel uncomfortable with having had, or excavated?

22. Remember, the point isn’t to find new, creative ways to make yourself wrong for these new thoughts you’re discovering. Nor is it to let these shadow thoughts have total free rein without any interjection on your behalf. These thoughts ultimately mean absolutely nothing about who you are as a person. For now, the point is simply to be aware of them. “Oh, that’s in there. Interesting!”

23. Once you are aware of these thoughts, then you are able to be in a place of CHOICE rather than simply living in a place of unconscious reactivity.

Befriend your Shadow
How To Own Your Shadow Before It Owns You: 7 Helpful Exercises

Integrating The Shadow

Integrating our shadow could be boiled down to this simple process:

1) Become aware of the aspects of yourself that are difficult to face

2) Name it out loud and/or have a dialogue with it

3) Step more fully into this trait that you are in resistance to (yes, embody it more fully)

4) Having stepped further into the trait, realize that you didn’t die and the world didn’t end

5) Benefit from a more integrated relationship to that once rejected trait.

We can’t eliminate our shadow (nor would we want to), so the point of facing your shadow is to accept it. See the humour in it. Come to see it as an ally instead of an enemy, and learn how to harness it for the greater good.

For the uninitiated, shadow work might seem intimidating (and, yes, totally valid… it is). But if you have made it this far in reading this article, then I trust that there is some important, unresolved psychological content that is begging to come forth and be integrated.

If you truly want to help the world to wake up, do your own inner healing work. Because everything that you perceive as being ‘wrong’ with the world, out there, also lives in you.

I believe in your capacity to find these shadow aspects, and bring them out into your conscious awareness.

Read Shadow Self: 3 Ways To Embrace Your Inner Darkness

And once you have done this you, and the world, will benefit greatly.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan


Written by Jordan Gray
Originally appeared in Jordan GrayConsulting
Republished with permission
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How To Own Your Shadow Before It Owns You: 7 Helpful Exercises
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How To Own Your Shadow Before It Owns You: 7 Helpful Exercises
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