For people who have been together for a longer span of time, it would definitely take a longer amount of time.
Even years after settling with someone else, the loss of a previous partner can cut you very deeply. We have to acknowledge that this kind of emotional pain is part and parcel of being a human being, having a soul and having feelings.
Therapy and discussions with friends/family, rationalize what happened
The next best step I could take in my journey of recovery was reaching out, whether it was therapy with long, drawn-out discussions with a complete stranger, or slowly but surely unwinding in deep conversations with my friends, reaching out to other people was one of my most significant sources of healing.
When you are knocked into a tight place, where you do not see any more light at the end of the tunnel or when you are covered up in a ball of melancholy in a dark corner of your bedroom. At that time, friends or family turning up or a loved one calling you up can be that ray of hope or glimmer of light which your brain so direly needed.
The friends and family can also help you piece together what really happened during the turbulent times which led to your divorce or separation. This, in turn, can help ease your guilt or hurt, whichever feeling is dominant.
Think positively and keep hope for the future, do not give into the negative voice in your head
For me, the days where I felt hopeless and sad far outnumbered the ones where I was optimistic and full of hope. However, I tried my best to remain upbeat and confident in my approach towards the future.
Life does not end when a loved one passes away, and it does not stop when someone willingly decides to part ways with you.
There is always another reason to look forward to the next day and to remain firmly faithful in the belief that this is not the last plan God has for you.
Reading, cooking, exercising and launching head-first into your work
Hobbies and work can take up a great deal of your time, and it can cheer you up on particularly bad days. Sometimes, you are all you have, so why not make the best of it?
Increasing your knowledge and indulging in a few culinary delights will only uplift your mood. Another thing that can uplift your mood and be a source of healthy living for you is exercise. So these are some small hobbies I indulged in aside from launching myself neck deep in my job and my work to go farther in my healing process.
Keep your memories but let go of the past
Cherishing the memories you had with someone is not a bad thing, but it is essential to let go of the person as being your romantic partner in the future. This means that you will no longer fantasize about the both of you being together again and you will no longer think about a future which has a place for that person in your life.
It is best to let go of the person who is now divorced from you because the marriage you once shared with them no longer exists. It will do you no good to think of ways of getting back together with someone with whom things had not worked out even when you were married to them.
Joining a support group
The last and final step I took in healing from my divorce was by joining a support group for divorcees. This helped me meet a lot of other people who had been through the same trauma as I had. They offered support and empathy. They also gave me hope of the fact that I was on my track to becoming a regular, functional adult as opposed to the guilt-ridden and melancholic person I had become during the first few months of my divorce.