Why Not Believing Victims Is More Painful Than The Abuse Itself

 / 

Why Pain of Non Belief Doubting Victims Horrific Than Abuse

The Pain of Not Believing Victims Of Abuse: Why it is more horrific than abuse. Victims doubting, or doubting victims of abuse can sometimes be more painful than the actual abuse itself. The pain of non belief and not believing abuse victims is one of the worst things we can do to them.

Not being believed, can sometimes feel even more painful than the abuse itself. And I am not invalidating, or minimizing the effect and consequences of abuse, by making this statement, at all.

What I am doing, is describing how incredibly painful and devastating it is to not be believed.

Related: 8 Heartbreaking Thoughts You Face As An Adult Survivor of Child Sexual Abuse

Why Not Believing Victims Of Abuse Is Incredibly Wrong And Painful

The abuse itself is horrific.

The pain of not being believed, of being neglected, and the emotional and psychological destruction that non belief by others, after enduring severe abuse, is even more horrific. Because it adds on top to the already massive weight of pain and devastation abuse causes.

They arenโ€™t two separate issues. They are combined.

Non belief is like having the knife twisted.

The abuse being the knife being stuck in, the non belief being the severe pain of the knife being twisted in the already deeply painful wound.

I am only recently coming to understand the deep psychological effect of not having people you need in your life to believe you and decide to not believe you.

Iโ€™ve dealt with this my entire life, from childhood.

Iโ€™ve even had this with a whole load of religious people, having various levels of non belief about abuse I was completely honest in exposing. None of them believed me at the beginning of this whole issue. I think a few believe me now after lies were told in the internal investigation report. But people still minimize it. For their own needs, not mine.

Related: Can Men Be Victims Of Domestic Abuse?

My advice to anyone dealing with a person who says they have been abused isโ€ฆ

If you choose to doubt the victim, not believe them, assume the truth is somewhere between what the accused says and what the victim saysโ€ฆ..but if the victim is being 100% honest โ€“ you are abusing the victim further โ€“ even if unintentionally.

If you choose to minimize what the victim has endured, and support the abuser, then you are abusing the victim further โ€“ even if unintentionally.

If you choose to make assumptions, blame that victim in some way for what occurred, judge them, blame their mental health, etc โ€“ and that victim is telling the truth โ€“ you are abusing them further โ€“ even if unintentionally.

We live in a society where it is โ€˜innocent until proven guiltyโ€™.

And also where is a victim is โ€˜lying/exaggerating’ unless they can prove the abuse 100%.

There are many who will argue we need to have innocent until proven guilty and I agree, we do. But, in the case of abuse victims โ€“ please know โ€“ this abuses and re-traumatizes them repeatedly.

And โ€˜not guiltyโ€™ or not having enough evidence to prove the abuse 100% โ€“ does not mean the victim was lying. Or that the abuser is innocent โ€“ but society wants to view it that way.

Related: Are You A Victim Of Narcissistic Abuse?

And regardless of all the arguments for all thisโ€ฆโ€ฆ..bottom line, is it is devastating and is more abusive to the victim.

I know this because I have been there. Too many times.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Want to know more about the pain of not believing victims of abuse or doubting abuse victims? Check this video out below!

Not believing victims of abuse

All blogs written by Lilly Hope Lucario and subject to ยฉ Copyright Protected.

All rights reserved. No part of any entry/blog may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, copying, and pasting content, screenshots, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods.

This includes adaptations in all forms of media.


The Pain Of Not Believing Victims Of Abuse
The Pain Of Not Believing Victims Of Abuse
Why Pain of Non Belief Doubting Victims Horrific Than Abuse pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Responses

Leave a Reply



Up Next

7 Signs Someone Is Projecting Onto You: Are You Bearing Someone Else’s Burden?

Signs Someone Is Projecting Their Emotional Baggage On You

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and it felt like they were accusing you of things that didn’t seem like you? It’s as if they’re dumping their own issues on you, leaving you scratching your head, wondering what is happening. Well, this is just one of the many signs someone is projecting their emotional baggage on you.

You’re gradually realizing that you are being blamed for things that’re not your fault at all. You are being accused to be the kind of person you are not. It’s as though they’re running their private movie theater, and you’ve become their projection screen.

But before we get int



Up Next

Dog Whistling Narcissist: 8 Ways Narcissists Use This Covert Manipulation Tactic

Dog Whistling Narcissist: Covert Ways They Manipulate You

Have you ever had the feeling that when you are talking to someone, there’s a hidden message they’re trying to get across to you? A message that feels insulting, condescending and hurtful? If you answered yes, then you are dealing with a dog whistling narcissist, my friend.

These people are experts at sending subtle messages that are extremely hurtful and humiliating, but only you understand it, not anyone else. When a narcissist uses dog whistling, their main motive is to manipulate you and keep you under their control. They’ll use it to dominate you, and put you down, while pretending to be harmless.

But what is dog whistling, and how narcissists use dog whistling? Let’s find out, shall we?



Up Next

8 Powerful Phrases To Shut Down Gaslighting With Confidence

Powerful Phrases To Shut Down Gaslighting With Confidence

Have you ever had a conversation with someone where you felt like everything you are saying or feeling is being dismissed and invalidated, even though you know you’re right? If you answered yes, then you were subjected to gaslighting. If you have experienced this, then remember these 8 phrases to shut down gaslighting like a boss.

When someone makes you question your reality, it can feel extremely frustrating and depressing. Weโ€™ve all been there at some point. These little digs can make you feel like youโ€™re on thin ice, be it from a friend, family member or that one co-worker.

But hey, you’ve come to the



Up Next

The Emotionally Absent Mother: Overcoming Her Legacy And Healing From The Wounds

The Emotionally Absent Mother: Healing From The Wounds

Having an emotionally absent mother can take a heavy toll on your mental and emotional well-being, and that too from a very young age. This article is going to explore what it means to have an emotionally unavailable mother, how her emotional absence can affect you and how to heal from it and move on.

Growing up with a mother who wasnโ€™t emotionally available may have complicated your relationship with your emotions. Our early experiences of emotional attunement play an important part in the subsequent regulation of our emotions.

An emotionally absent mother may fail to develop the kind of satisfying attachment bonds in her children that make sustaining ordinary relationships possible.



Up Next

Is It Love Or A Trap? 10 Ominous And Warning Signs Of Love Bombing

Ominous And Warning Signs Of Love Bombing: Love Or Trap?

Have you ever experienced the turbulent side of love, that comes from falling head over heels for someone? The butterflies in your stomach, the passion you feel, and the feeling of being swept off your feet – feels amazing, doesn’t it? But what if I told you that behind this seemingly perfect faรงade lies something dark and sinister? What if I told you these are warning signs of love bombing?

Welcome to the dark world of love bombing; a psychological tactic used by manipulative people to gain control over your mind and heart. In this article, we will talk about what does love bombing mean, and the signs you are being love bombed.

Let’s get started first with what does love bombing mean, shal



Up Next

Surviving Toxic Friendships: 15 Shocking Signs Of An Abusive Friend You Can’t Afford To Ignore

Signs of an Abusive Friend: Surviving Toxic Friendships

Do you feel like your BFF is jealous of you? Do they constantly criticize and always try to influence your decisions? Are they always around when they need a favor from you, but immediately disappear when you need support? Then it is likely you have a toxic, abusive friend. Let us explore the signs of an abusive friend and how to deal with an abusive friend.

A friendship is one of the most authentic and purest forms of relationships we can experience as it is not bound by blood or any compulsion. Friendships are born out of mutual respect, support, companionship and happiness. Our friends support us and pick us up when we are down and guide us when we stray too far.

However, some individuals use the mask of friendship simply to exploit, dominate and abuse us. They pretend to be our friends as long as we are of use to them and freque



Up Next

The Playbook Of Deceit: 11 Narcissistic Games Used To Torment You

Narcissistic Games Used To Torment: Playbook Of Deceit

Have you ever encountered someone that made you question your own sanity? Or found yourself caught in a web of manipulation, unsure of how you got there? If so, then you may have encountered a narcissist and have been a victim of narcissistic games.

Narcissists are masters at psychological games. A charming smile hides their darker agenda as they play several mind games to control and exploit you. These mind games narcissists play can be psychologically damaging, without you even realizing it at times.

In this article, weโ€™ll unravel 11 narcissistic games, exposing all their tactics, so that you don’t fall