Does The 30-day No Contact Rule Actually Work? Answered By A Breakup Coach

does no contact rule actually work

5. I realized I didn’t want him anymore after that.

Once that 30-day period was over, I realized I found so much solace in myself, along with strength and resilience, I didn’t even feel the need—or the wanting—of him in my life. I also ended up meeting a bunch of new people that same month and started life-long friendships.

So, now you know my story, and what I got out of my experience. Now you want to know, is this right for you?

Here’s My Best Guidance Around Whether Or Not This Is Your Next Step:

1. Do this for you—not them.

Don’t do the no-contact rule because you want to get your ex back; that’s just being spiteful. We don’t want our exes back out of spite, do we? We also don’t want our ex pining after us when they see what they lost.

Do this because you want to own your power, and remember what it feels like to be in control of your own life.

2. Decide when you’re feeling balanced.

Don’t jump to this decision because you got triggered by their social media and immediately have deleted them off even Venmo (true story of one of my clients). Instead, take a few days to lean into the idea, and make the call when you feel at peace with your decision.

Related: Why Letting Go Is Not Always A Bad Thing

3. Get yourself a designated buddy if you plan on doing it.

Like me, I strongly recommend replacing your need to text them with something healthy, like calling a friend or family member. As the Power of Habit says, you can’t get rid of habits, but you can replace them.

Written By Nancy Ruth Deen
Originally Appeared On Hello Breakup
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Does The 30-day No Contact Rule Actually Work? Answered By A Breakup Coach
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Nancy Ruth Deen

Nancy Ruth Deen is a breakup coach and former matchmaker. After quitting matchmaking, she became a certified psycho-spiritual life coach and decided to create a coaching practice dedicated to helping people redefine what it means to go through a breakup, and support them in their spiritual growth. She believes that the key to getting over your ex is rediscovering yourself in the process.View Author posts