The Lifelong Effects of Childhood Neglect By Parents

If you are an adult who was neglected, please know that you can find your true sense of self and worthiness. You don’t have to take counsel from the wounded parents who treated you badly. You can define yourself, and live and model a different kind of life and parenting style with your own children.

This starts with working on your personal trauma and getting it processed. Don’t go it alone; get help when needed and don’t minimize the pain. You may think it is too selfish or self-absorbed to discuss your feelings, but they will catch up to you in the long run.

As Alice Miller said: “I have never known a patient to portray his parents more negatively than he actually experienced them in childhood but always more positively — because idealization of his parents was essential for his survival.”

She added, “Wherever I look, I see signs of the commandment to honor one’s parents and nowhere of a commandment that calls for the respect of a child.”

Take a moment to think about how it feels when someone truly believes in you and validates your needs and feelings. Empathy is the greatest gift to give and receive.


Written by Karyl McBride Ph.D

Karyl McBride, Ph.D., is a licensed marriage and family therapist and author of Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers.

Originally appeared on PsychologyToday

Recovery Resources for Daughters, Sons and Partners of Narcissists


Dr. Karyl McBride’s new book: Will I Ever Be Free of You? How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist, and Heal Your Family

Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers:

Audio Books

Will I Ever Be Free of You? How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist, and Heal Your Family Audio Version:

Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers Audio Version:


“50 Ways to tell if you are in a Relationship with a Narcissist” Survey:

“Do You Have a Narcissistic Parent?” Survey:

“Is this your Mom?” Survey:

Workshops & Intensives

Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers Virtual Workshop. Online workshop in the privacy of your own home, complete with video presentations and homework assignments:

Daughter and son intensives: One on one sessions with Dr. McBride:

Small group intensives: Build and strengthen individual recovery work and create amazing connections within a community of support:

Other Links:

Book and workshop website:

Recent Interviews and Q&A Sessions:

Private practice website:





Psychology Today blog:

Other Helpful Resources

ShareKids Co-Parenting Calendar

Our Family Wizard Co-Parenting Calendar

Trauma Treatment – International EMDR Website

Resources for Suicide Prevention:

If you are in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741.


  • Photo Source: Altanaka, (2015). Retrieved from


Related Video: 7 Behaviors Common Among Adults Who Went Through Trauma At A Young Age

You may also like:

Image credit

Karyl McBride PhD, LMFT
Karyl McBride, PhD, LMFT Author of: Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers and Will I Ever Be Free of You? How to Navigate a High-Conflict Divorce from a Narcissist and Heal Your Family. Karyl McBride, Ph.D., L.M.F.T., is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Denver, Colorado with over 28 years in public and private practice. She specializes in treating clients with dysfunctional family issues. For the past seventeen years, Dr. McBride has been involved in private research concerning children of narcissistic parents, with a primary focus on women raised by narcissistic mothers. She has treated many daughters of narcissistic mothers in her private practice.Dr. McBride also has extensive clinical experience in the fields of trauma, sexual abuse, domestic violence, divorce and step family therapy, marital and family therapy, specialized trauma treatment in Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR), and individual adjustment issues related to anxiety, depression, and life transitions.Surveys“50 Ways to tell if you are in a Relationship with a Narcissist” Survey:“Do You Have a Narcissistic Parent?” Survey:“Is this your Mom?” Survey:
- Advertisment -


Here are a few pieces of marriage advice on the 4 main critical skill areas you need for a successful partnership.
Men are complex. One day they may shower you with love, while the very next day they may seem withdrawn. So when your man...
During childhood, the emotional connect we develop with those around us has a major role to play of what we become in our adulthood.
Here are some of the most common signs of a legitimate haunted house and some steps to help you start dealing with living in one!

Editor's Pick

Thank you for always taking and never giving. For always asking for my love and understanding and yet never being emotionally available for me.
Look closely at the picture below. And decide what you saw first. Whatever you see will tell you a lot about your perception of life and who you are on the inside.
Age has nothing to do with being a man. Age is merely a number—actions define who he really is. But here’s the problem—most women spend their time trying to change boys into men.
A Libra longs for partnership, it is her heart’s forever-wish; but to love a Libra, you must love her completely.
- Advertisement -

Latest quotes

The Biggest Rule in a Relationship
A History of Trauma