Those with a strong need want to be liked by others. This described me at one point. I found myself bending over backwards so I could feel liked. While I still do desire to be liked, I do not feel the need for it as I once did.
When affection needs are not met, people will become uncomfortable being around others, and like the need for inclusion, withdraw. They may appear aloof and uninvolved. When asked about their “new” behavior, they will rarely share their honest feelings or opinions.
On the flip side, some who have this strong need may resort to inappropriate behaviors. They may become too talkative, too personal and too confiding. They will use this approach, seeking to “purchase” affection. Do you take the time to reach out to your partner for no reason, to tell them they are loved and appreciated?
Ask yourself, When my partner acts aloof, are they lacking affection from me?
Which of these three resonates with you? What do you do when you don’t get that need met? How does your partner react?
Understanding how unmet needs turn into undesirable behaviors helps you to better understand your partner. When you know what your partner hungers for, you can serve them easily and avoid miscommunication.
Think about this and talk to someone who could help you sort through these emotions if you feel compelled. If not, please take these suggestions into your relationships and witness the emotional rewards.
Written by Kingsley Grant Originally appeared in The Good Men Project