He made sure I followed orders and I started wondering whether he had taken permission from his peers when he would meet me, whether he had asked about their perceptions and philosophies when he wanted to meet me and talk to me.
I could never remain as a trophy-girl.
When I tried to tell him how much I needed him, he dodged it.
Yes, I did want him.
But that needed to be reciprocated too. He wanted me too, as his trophy-girl, governed by him and his peers.
Now, the other point! I needed him. But was he there for me?
No. He wasn’t definitely there for me. Else, he would have understood that I am an individual, and changing one’s marital status cannot change one’s identity.
I as an individual have every right to determine how should I dress and how should I walk.
Literally tried to compromise before I felt I was losing myself; I tried to adjust before I felt I couldn’t do it anymore.
And then, I called it off.
I still wanted him but there wasn’t any need simply because there wasn’t any reciprocation.
It’s okay to want a man but ‘needing a man’ is what that determines our relationships. This ‘need’ is not a one-way process. This need is reciprocation.
You love me but I am yet to figure out this ‘needing’ part. It’s about how much we need our men and how much they understand our needs. That’s when it clicks. It’s our choice to decide.
Else, it’s always okay to break away and stay single for a while, get some solitude of your own. There’s no harm in it. There’s no dearth of nice men on this earth too. So, choose wisely.