Why Needing A Relationship Is Toxic To A Relationship

Both men and women who place their self-worth in the hands of their relationships are highly sensitive to rejection 5.  At times, I went batshit crazy on her ass because I was so scared of being rejected. In fact, I was anxiously expecting rejection on a regular basis. I wanted a guarantee that she wasn’t going to leave me devastated with my low self-worth, and I’d do anything to make that happen.

This fear and insecurity leads to jealousy and anxiety. We want to control her. Our preoccupation with the relationship drains the emotional connection we had when we started it because we place a TON of pressure to keep the relationship working well, and this ironically leads us to diminish our ability to empathize with the person we are dating.

We tell her she can’t go out with her friends to the clubs or grab a drink with a guy friend. We start snooping and monitoring her, trying to make sure she isn’t doing what we fear she is doing.

We display excessive reassurance-seeking behavior, which can be a source of strain on the relationship. Some guys even control what their girlfriend eats to make sure the girl they date fits his ideal type. 6

Some guys get married right away, because they are so desperate to tie down what they just got.

The problem is that this behavior ends up causing the girl to leave you, or cheat on you. Or you’re going to cut her down so much that she will be a shadow of what she was.

If the latter happens, you no longer have a girlfriend, you have a zombie. You’ve killed her personality with your insecurity, your low self-esteem, your anxiety, and your fears.

The reason you cause all of this drama and all of this pain is because you placed your key to your happiness in her pocket. Not yours. There is not a single person that can be there 100% for you.

You may have already uncovered that immediately after the relationship I talk about above, I got really, really sick.

I was forced, for two years, to deal with my health, my beliefs, and my self-worth issues. Research has shown that the anxiety and stress associated with dependency and self-worth can lead to long-term physical and mental health problem. 7

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Kyle Bensonhttp://kylebenson.net/healthy-relationships
I've had the privilege of working with men and women on a wide range of relationship issues. I've helped individuals:Leave toxic relationships to find a healthy relationship that makes them feel calm, grateful for the person in their life, and deeply valued by their partner Close the emotional distance between partners so they feel deeply connected to each otherResolve relationship conflict, leading the couple to become closer and more loving than they ever thought imaginable Remove sexual anxiety to create intensely passionate and longer-lasting sexUse problems in the relationship as catalysts to help individuals grow into their highest potential (and become more awesome lovers)Our coaching sessions are tailored towards reaching solutions that improve your relationship quickly. Read more about my coaching programmes here, Relationship Coaching or Email me at [email protected]
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