That’s when they look for the most manipulatable and willing target to pick up the pieces for them while putting out free sex and wasting all YOUR emotional energy trying to please them. Sadly, since pleasing them would be something they perceive as a win for you, they would view themselves as a loser if they gave you any praise or credit for doing a great job as a lover for them.
As such, their grandiosity and egocentrism coupled with lack of empathy or capacity to truly love (rather than be partial to someone for nostalgic reasons of being able to count on them to be easily duped into enabling) makes them constantly undermine loving people. They can’t understand the merit of what they are missing, but on a core level, they resent others who seem to both feel and enjoy feeling it.
Try To Recognize The Signs Before You Fall In Love With A Narcissist
The bottom line is that all narcissistic people (anti-social or not) will minimize your most loving and honest efforts. Additionally, they will compulsively invalidate you and put you in some sort of a negative place.
Once victims know this information — that they are being systematically brainwashed, abused, and manipulated by a narcissist, who do so as a deliberate choice in life pattern, it’s up to them to make the choice whether or not to continue to play by the Abusive person’s rules. It’s called the “Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse”.
The only way to win is not to play — truly, learning how to go Gray Rock (like a stone emotionally) is the first step in saving YOU from YOU when and if for some reason YOU ever thought it was in any way necessary or morally appropriate to willingly allow YOURSELF to be abused.
If the person abusing has Narcissistic or Anti-Social Personality Disorder, even the psychologists and leading psychiatrists can only study them (not treat them). If you are holding out hope that if you love them enough, you will be able to bring about a change in the emotional psychology of an abuser, you are simply wasting your time.
Once upon a time, there existed a moment in time before one person traumatized another.
It’s only in this “once upon a time” scenario that no need for Narcissistic Abuse reflection, recovery, and subsequent healing was possible.
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