By turning the head of this dazzling exotic creature which is locked in a gilded cage, he or she will be grateful, joyous, and ecstatic to be freed and of course, the recipient of all this positive fuel will be us, the glorious rescuer. Throw in the negative fuel of the bested spurned spouse and it is a fuel frenzy.
Accordingly, the fact that somebody is married signals to us that there are many benefits, and our mindset sees this individual as an entirely viable target.
However, might there be concerns also? I am sure various questions have already formed in your mind as to why we might not regard a married person as a viable target. This may include.
1. Why choose someone who is already with somebody else? Surely that requires more effort to lure them away?
2. Is it not the case that Lesser and Mid-Ranger Narcissists are more likely to be deterred from hoovering when their former Intimate Partner Primary Source (“IPPS”) has a new partner post escape/dis-engagement? Does this not apply when seeking a target?
3. Are we not concerned about reprisals from the target’s spouse, family, and friends?
4. Are we not concerned our facade may be damaged by such behavior which society generally frowns on?
5. Would we not be perturbed that if this person can be stolen away from another that that means they will do the same to us at some point?
6. If someone is willing to cheat on their partner, are they as empathic as we want them to be?
Fair questions. Taking them in turn.
1. Yes, it will require more effort but our sense of entitlement, unshakeable belief in our brilliance, and moreover the rewards that await us mean this effort is worthwhile. Keep in mind that as we are targeting this person we will usually be devaluing our own IPPS and therefore there is plenty of negative fuel to hand to power the seduction of this newly acquired target.
We are not in any rush to secure them (our IPPS is not looking to escape and the conditions for dis-engagement have not yet been met).
2. That consideration is certainly applicable when applied to the Follow-Up Hoover but this is a Seduction Hoover and therefore the condition and context are entirely different. The fear of rejection is not one that is looming large.
3. No. Our belief in our superiority pushes such a concern to one side. The Lesser will resort to physical violence if necessary. The Mid-Ranger will use this unwarranted (in his or her mind) attack to prove that he or she deserves pity and praise for doing the right thing in trying to set the poor spouse free from their “abusive tyrant”. The Greater will charm his way out of trouble or threaten his own far worse repercussions if anybody tries to get clever.
4. This is a concern however it is overridden because whatever (unmerited) criticism may come our way for interfering in a marriage, we convince ourselves that it is justified and for the ‘greater good. This person is unhappy, bored, abused and we are getting them out of there, and if you were a real friend you would understand that and help me! (May as well manipulate the disapproving secondary source as well).
5. Haha! Of course not, why on earth would they ever leave us after everything we have done for them? Don’t be stupid.
6. This is an interesting question and one which merits its own article as to why do empathic people cheat? Suffice to state for the purposes of this piece, we regard their desire to cheat as a necessary ‘evil’ to escape the situation they are in/get to a better place with us and this is a temporary behavior that will not affect their overall empathic nature.