If you are with a stonewaller you already are in a situation where this person does not have the character or the capacity or the desire to meet you in a healthy relationship. I know it is very painful, but you need to get very clear about that. When you turn inwards and heal, you will not have any attraction to this person.
You want to go after them for the love and care and partnership that you have actually been able to establish and activate within yourself. Then this person is no longer your reality.
I hope that this has really helped and you are now much clearer about the tactic of stonewalling that a narcissist uses and how this has not only been allowing him or her to dodge accountability and stepping up to be a healthier person in relationship with you, but how it has pulled you in to hand more of your soul, rights, values and limits to this person.
I also hope that you now know how you can use a situation of stonewalling – that space, those gaps – to your best advantage. Because that will blindside the narcissist and it will allow you to take your power back.
If you want help with doing this in ways that will allow you to be fearless and strong and to become a force who does generate healthy relationships – which means that you will never tolerate or have to live through these games again – then I would love you to check out my Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program, which is known as NARP, which helps you heal and rise from the inside out.
Written By Melanie Tonia Evans Originally Appeared In Melanie Tonia Evans
Narcissists stonewall their victims because they love to hurt people and cause them pain and they love it, even more, when they get an emotional reaction out of it. Even though they are the real culprits, this gives them the excuse to paint you as the wrongdoer. So, the next time narcissists try to stonewall you, don’t give them the satisfaction. Keep calm and don’t give them any kind of reaction and just watch them fluster.