Examples of the Silent Treatment:
- You point out that something they did was unacceptable (i.e., cheating, lying) and the Narcissist leaves and stays gone for a week. Then, comes back to your door as though nothing ever happened.
- The two of you exchange text messages regarding an important issue. The Narc texts “Bye” and you don’t hear from them again for five days. Or, they say they’ll come over then never show up, nor explain their absence afterward.
- You sit down beside the Narcissist to talk about something that’s bothering you and they proceed to read the newspaper.
- You ask the Narc a question, and they carry on as if they didn’t hear you, even if you repeat the question a second or third time.
- The two of you get into an argument. The Narc packs their suitcase and stays gone for a month with no attempt to contact you and ignores any texts you may send them.
If your partner has used this form of emotional abuse to get you to comply with their demands, you should consider using the opportunity to initiate No Contact.
Do not reward this passive-aggressive abuse tactic, as it will lead to them doing it even more since they derive a sense of satisfaction (if not “guilty” pleasure) at seeing the negative effect they can have on you.
Specifically, don’t send pleading text messages or lengthy emails asking them to respond to you or explain how much they’re hurting you. From their perspective, it proves to them that they are highly important, even more, important than you are to yourself. Implementing NC during the silent treatment would put you back into a place of power because when they prance back onto the scene believing you’ll fall to their feet, they’ll encounter nothing but the sound of crickets…
Copyright © 2014 Kim Saeed and Let Me Reach
If you’d like to learn more about Narcissistic manipulation tactics and healing from narcissistic abuse, visit Letmereach.com, where you’ll find advice, articles, and holistic healing methods that will help you heal trauma, pain, and soul loss caused by narcissistic and pathological abuse.
Want to go No Contact but need support and guidance? Check out Kim’s book, How to Do No Contact Like a Boss!