Why Do Narcissists Project Their Wounds Onto You?

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A lot of times when the anger comes and you fight back against the narcissist, it’s because you are upset that this narcissist isn’t who you thought they would be or that the narcissist couldn’t accept what they did was wrong. When you tell them what happened and expect them to take responsibility and they don’t, they will make your life a living hell.

You must remember that you are seeing this person for who they actually are. You have to be able to communicate how you feel, and the way they react shows you the person they are.

It’s hard to accept that this person may not be the person you thought they were, and that’s a tough situation. You may even feel like you’re going crazy, and this is where the gaslighting occurs. It can be very confusing. The problem is you believe a narcissist is a normal person, and you think they are wired like a normal person, but you have to accept that you are not in a relationship with a normal, healthy person. Accepting this realization is never easy.

Related: Projection: The Lethal Weapon Narcissists and Abusers Use To Manipulate Others

A narcissist isn’t only a pathological liar, but they can also be malicious, vengeful, and hurtful. When the mask falls off and you can see the evil, you get to see who this person really is. It’s so hard to look at this at face value because this is probably someone you want to be around. It’s a hard and hurtful struggle if you are in a long-term relationship with a narcissist, and it is heartbreaking to think this relationship wasn’t healthy.

If the narcissist moves on and finds someone new, especially if you were the one who was discarded, it can be hurtful to you, but the reality is they are not capable of having a healthy relationship with anyone. The length of time a person is in a relationship doesn’t determine the success of that relationship, and you must remind yourself of that key point over and over again.


Written By Stephanie Lyn 
Originally Appeared In Stephanie Lyn Life Coaching
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Why Do Narcissists Project Their Wounds Onto You?
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Why Do Narcissists Project Their Wounds Onto You?
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Stephanie Lyn

Stephanie is a Life and Relationship Coach focusing on healing from narcissistic abuse, codependency, and past wounds. A major part of her teaching is a process called Self-Parenting. This practice is about learning how to become a healthy adult and learning the basic life skills that most of us did not learn growing up. She focuses her attention on teaching the strategies and simple practices to begin reprogramming your inner self. The parts of you that have been damaged from what her clients have experienced throughout their lives. Within her practice she has created a thriving YouTube Channel, Stephanie Lyn Coaching and podcast Heal, Survive, Thrive where people go to learn her teachings and gain the support they need to overcome what they have been through. Stephanie’s philosophies are simple “learn the basic principles you did not learn growing up.”View Author posts