I promise you it took me so long to accept this! And I would not be alive and Thriving if I hadn’t made this powerful switch. (This is why I am so passionate about inspiring you to do this as well.)
Immediately, as a result of courageously letting go of trying to monitor, predict, prescribed to, control, fix or change people who we have absolutely no ability to work with, and turning inwards to rescue and release ourselves from internal trauma, there is often a somatically felt immediate relief.
It’s our Inner Being telling us, “Thank goodness you have showed up for me … finally. You are the Being I have been waiting for all along! Those False Sources that you tried to get to substitute in your relationship with me, were never going to work!”
The relief is often felt even just with the intention that you’re going let go of the obsessional thoughts about the narcissist and turn inside to heal yourself. Even before you start doing the inner work!
This is because you are already on the path to wellness.
Step Number 3: Doing the Necessary Inner Work
There is only one way to change your life, and that is to change yourself.
You can’t change other people in order to feel better, do better, and live better. The only entity that you can change is yourself. And it’s crazy that we were really never taught this! Our only power is within, and when you do the inner work you will discover that you emerge with a different Inner Love Code.
Which means that you will no longer be attractive to and attracted to people who hurt you.
Then, the glorious thing is, you will be able to be in life as yourself, safe and powerful and authentic and able to say ‘No”, whilst remaining whole when people are not healthy for you. You will be able to move on.
And as a result of your hard-earned inner work your relationships and entire life will change beyond description.
The only way that we ever learn how to do better is to get better, that’s the truth.
At the beginning, we may think that “doing better” simply means ignoring the narcissist and no longer reacting and just trying to get on with our lives.
After substantial abuse, even if you are capable of doing “grey rock”, and not getting hooked in anymore, it is still likely that you will still be suffering abuse symptoms such as PTSD, anxiety and depression and the obsessional thoughts that make it very difficult to have the energy to be happy, free and create a new and great life.
It’s exhausting trying to get healthy, whilst battling the inner trauma that is generating your emotions, thoughts, and biological processes.
A much better way is to turn inwards and start doing the releasing work of all of these toxic traumas out from you. That frees up space. It makes way for your health to organically arise from within you. Your natural state is “health” without your internal trauma.
My Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Program (NARP) is a highly successful step-by-step system to get your inner work done. As a Gold member, it also comes supported with your NARP 24/7 community forum access, where you get incredible tips, suggestions and so much help.
You don’t have to do your inner work alone!
Step Number 4: Become Anti-Fear
Also, if you have been connected through marriage, property, and children, the narcissist often lashes out, trying to affect you by taking what and who is near and dear to you.
You may be tested with the most horrifying and terrifying triggers that you could imagine.
This I want you to know with all my heart, that the most powerful and fastest way that you can get well and healthy, and escape their assaults, is to become anti-fear.
By doing so, energetically and psychically the narcissist loses their energy feed.
Until you live this phenomenon you cannot possibly know just how powerful this switch is.
Without fear and pain, as a result of you turning inwards and deeply committing to the inner work to purge this person and all of the trauma, as well as any of your limiting and painful and powerless beliefs, this person loses all power over you.
The narcissist will be thwarted. His or her attempts will fall flat. You start connecting up to the resources, people, and situations that will fully support you.
The reason being is because you are activating the power of all of this by turning inwards and FULLY supporting yourself.