NARCISSISTS AND EMPATHS: THE EGO DYNAMIC

 March 01, 2016

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NARCISSISTS AND EMPATHS THE EGO DYNAMIC2



There’s a lot of buzz in the media these days about Empaths/Highly Sensitives and Narcissists attracting to one another.  One popular theory is that Narcissists prey on Empaths and Sensitives because of their overly giving nature.  While that is primarily true, there is another reason that goes even deeper, and it has to do with ego.

Narcissists

First, let’s consider the definition of egotistical as it relates to Narcissists in general:

adjective

  1. Excessively conceited or absorbed in oneself; self-centered.
  2. Arrogance, selfishness, greed, a sense of entitlement to whatever one wants.

Too much ego can lead to serious problems with treating people as means to ends: such people (i.e., Narcissists) feel entitled to do whatever it takes to get what he/she wants. This leads to abuses of ends/means reasoning (using other people to fulfill ego’s wants).

It’s no surprise that the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (DSM-IV) states that people with the disorder:

  1. have a grandiose sense of self-importance
  2. have a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
  3. are interpersonally exploitative, i.e., taking advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

Empaths

Empaths do possess an ego to some degree, but don’t operate solelyfrom ego as Narcissists do.  For an Empath, ego is experienced primarily in judging others and feelings of anger/resentment.  These ego-driven emotions are usually incited in the Empath/HSP after witnessing acts of cruelty and hatred, interactions which they consider unfair or one-sided, and similar incidents.




Empaths operate predominately from love, humility, and giving.  They have a natural capacity for healing and teaching others.  However, until they learn how to responsibly use those gifts, they are often taken advantage of…not only by romantic partners, but people in general.

Many Empaths don’t realize what they are, and go through life feeling used and unfulfilled.  The Empath persona encompasses several personality types and traits and can include:

  • INFJ
  • ENFJ
  • Melancholic
  • Introvert
  • Intuitive

(**These are the main types, and listed simply as a matter of reference)

The Magnetic Attraction

The Empath’s soul purpose is to facilitate healing in others.  Unfortunately, they usually ignore their own needs in doing so.  They have a propensity to feel what’s going on outside of them more so than what’s inside.  In general an empath is non-violent, non-aggressive and leans more towards being the peacemaker. Any area filled with disharmony creates distress in an Empath. If they find themselves in the middle of a conflict, they will strive to resolve the situation as quickly as possible, if not avoid it all together. Because of these natural tendencies, the unaware Empath often finds themselves staying in a relationship with a toxic personality for too long.  Further, Empaths often have a track record of developing codependent behaviors in childhood to deal with the overwhelm of unfairness in the world and to please others, which they usually carry into their adult relationships…until a soul crises happens where they are forced into awakening.

Empaths operate from their authentic self, even if they aren’t aware they are an Empath.  Essentially, they associate with the life force, healing, and the urge to create what was not there before, such as when they try to “fix” people or situations, or help others heal and awaken.




50 comments on “NARCISSISTS AND EMPATHS: THE EGO DYNAMIC

  1. I disagree. I feel that I’ve been drawn to narcissists and they to me because we need something from one another. They are seeking healing from deep traumas, and I am seeking to learn to be stronger and truer in my own convictions. Narcissists are described as charismatic people who can influence others easily… By loving someone they can’t influence and manipulate completely, they learn to move around others in healthier ways. By empaths loving narcissists, we learn to be the rock that can endure the endless chasing of life’s waves on our shore. We are drawn together for a cosmic purpose, to moderate each other THROUGH LOVE. I can’t condemn or hate them for their struggle, and I admit it’s difficult to see where they are coming from sometimes, but when you look at the research most people who suffer from NPD were emotionally abused as children. I just try to love the child within, and have learned to strengthen my own boundaries to keep myself safe. Hope this helps those of you who have had unsuccessful experiences with this personality type. <3

  2. narcissists have not enough light of their own..they feed off ours till they get cut off..or change–they are the last to change as the narcissistic thing is built up like a castle moat around the human stuck behind the walls..can’t blast them out until they are ready..to drop the walls, the fakiry and the lies..

  3. I often feel they need, desire validation which absorbs and truly hinders them for associating with others. All I can say is pray for them. But stay at a distance. Not healthy for interactions (!)

  4. I’ve definitely had a spiritual awakening after my recent break up with a narcissist.. it may not have happened had I not crossed his path. very interesting article, thanks for sharing ????

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