16. Get used to losing sleep, feeling anxious, restless, less in control, becoming increasingly worried, perhaps even developing psychosomatic ailments. Those insecurities are your subconscious talking to you, telling you to escape.
17. Lacking both interest and true empathy in and for you, narcissists absolve themselves of that pesky social burden to care, leaving you deprived, empty, frustrated, or in pain.
18. They will be unwilling to acknowledge the smallest thing that matters to you. In doing so, they devalue you, leaving you feeling unfulfilled and empty.
19. You will learn to deal with their indifference, in one of two ways. You will work harder to get their attention — with little reward to you because it won’t matter to the narcissist — or you will become resigned and empty psychologically, because narcissists drain you, one indignity at a time.
20. You will be expected to be their cheerleader at all times, even when it is you who needs encouragement the most.
This is the unvarnished truth about how narcissists see themselves, how they will behave, and how they can make you feel. I wish it were a better picture, but survivors of these personalities will tell you that it is that bad and that toxic.
As Stuart C. Yudofsky explains in his book Fatal Flaws, the truly narcissistic personality is “severely flawed of character.”
You might be asking, “What can I do?” Conventional wisdom advises seeing a trained professional for guidance. That is wise, but not always available. In my experience, the only solution that works is to distance yourself from the individual as soon as you recognize them for what they are, and as soon as it is practical.
As your psychic wounds heal, you will see your life improve and feel your dignity restored. As painful as distancing yourself may be, it is often the only way to make the hurting stop and to restore your well-being.
To see the full checklist of the traits of the narcissistic personality, or of the social predator, please consult Dangerous Personalities by Joe Navarro with Toni Sciarra Poynter (Rodale, 2014).
Dealing with a narcissist, and making sure that they fail to manipulate you has only one solution – delving deep into the mind of a narcissist. Unless you fully understand how their mind works, you will never be able to counter their cheap and toxic tricks. So, the next time they try to play you, focus on the mind of a narcissist, and everything will be much clearer to you.
If you want to know more about how the mind of a narcissist works, then check this video out below: