However, all members can be easily interchanged and replaced based on what you can do for your narcissist. You will find yourself constantly competing to gain attention from the narcissist and prove your value and worth in their harem.
“You get discarded as a supply for one of two reasons: They find you too outspoken about their abuse. They prefer someone that will keep stroking their ego and remain their silent doormat. Or, they found a new narcissistic supply. Either way, you can count on the fact that they planned your devaluation phase and the smear campaign in advance, so they could get one more ego stroke with your reaction.” – Shannon L. Alder
What role do you play?
Your role in the narcissistic love cult can and will vary based on how your usefulness is perceived by the narcissist and how effectively you can meet their needs.
Here are 5 common roles that most victims like you unintentionally play in the life of a narcissist and their narcissistic cult.
5 Roles we play in a narcissist’s life
1. The new entrant
Love bombing is the secret weapon of a narcissist. It is a technique used by harem owners to groom, brainwash and condition the members.
The love-bomb target will be showered with constant admiration, praise, and attention until the needs of the narcissist are met. It is a practice of flooding you with excessive attraction and adoration to manipulate you into getting addicted to the person with a narcissistic personality disorder.
Although it may sound great, it is only a means to control you. When you first enter the narcissist’s cult, this role is assigned to you by default.
The love-bombed victim quickly becomes the main focus of the narcissist as the spotlight shines on you bright. You are then considered as the best in the harem. During this time, no matter what you do, it will be considered cute, funny and adorable.
As you get all the attention from your cult leader, all other members will be ignored and avoided. As a result, other members of the narcissistic cult will become jealous and envious of you and may even try to sabotage your position in the harem.
However, just like every other member, your position will be devalued by the narcissist themselves once you have served your purpose. But your value in cult may rise later based on how useful you can be.
2. The right-hand person
Only someone who shares some of the sociopathic traits as the narcissist can become their right-hand person. If you manage to become a partner in crime to your narcissist, then your position in the harem will be reserved and fixed. However, it is not that easy as your values and beliefs need to be in accordance with your ringleader. And if you are a victim of the narcissistic cult leader, you will probably not fit this role as you will need to be ruthless, heartless, and exploitative.
As the right hand person is similar to the narcissist in a lot of ways, they cannot be easily replaced, at least as long as they keep being useful. As they usually become the long-standing MVP in the harem, they tend to become the best friend of the narcissist. They help the narcissist conspire, exploit and con new victims to boost the ego of their leader.
3. The emotional caretaker
“A narcissist, on the other hand, is the exact opposite of an empath. Emotionally, narcissists are like brick walls who see and hear others but fail to understand or relate to them. As a result of their emotional shallowness, narcissists are essentially devoid of all empathy or compassion for other people. Lacking empathy, a narcissist is a very destructive and dangerous person to be around.” – Mateo Sol
If you are empathetic, emotional and compassionate and unable to realize the truth, then this role will be assigned to you. As a member of the narcissistic harem, you will experience a weird trauma bond with your leader just like the sufferer of Stockholm Syndrome.
The caretakers are mostly delusional as they are manipulated to believe that the narcissist actually cares about them. To them, the narcissist is a hero and a great person who needs a little love and admiration. Hence, the caretakers try their best to ‘fix’ the person with a narcissistic personality disorder without realizing it’s a futile attempt that is costing them their emotional and mental wellbeing.