Unctuous, beguiling, deceptive, mendacious, amoral, cold, degenerate, Machiavellian, malevolent, sleazy, uncaring, wicked, and unfeeling—that is who they are. They differ from the narcissist in that taking advantage of others is their most prized objective in their life.
From talking to predators over a quarter of a century, as I have, one learns a few things. Here are some chilling, eye-opening quotes from them as to how they feel about themselves, life, and their victims. If you need a trigger warning, this is it—a medieval-sized trebuchet trigger warning.
How The Predator Thinks
1. I could care less about human rights—what about my rights?
I have to take care of me first.
2. Laws and rules are meant to be broken.
There is always a shortcut—there is always a way around the rules.
3. Most people are dupes—they should have seen it coming.
I can’t help it if they can’t defend themselves.
4. Women deserve to be treated the way they are—look how they dress and lead us on.
You think they don’t know what they are doing to us?
5. Cheating? Everyone does it; everyone is out for themselves.
I am no more of a cheat than a bank.
6. So what if I lie, what’s the harm? Everyone lies.
In any case, I needed to.
7. Law and rules are meant to be broken—they are stupid rules, anyway.
The trick is to not get caught.
8. It’s not my concern if someone suffers.
They shouldn’t have been there—it was their bad luck. Accidents happen all the time; this was no different.
9. I don’t know why I did it.
I just felt like doing it.
10. I don’t feel emotions like everyone else.
I just don’t. I don’t get it. I feel the same every day.
11. Yeah, I have a long rap sheet.
I’ve been in and out of jail all my life—but that’s not who I am. The police are always picking on me.
12. She begged for her life, but at that moment, it didn’t mean anything—I had control over her, and it felt good.
13. She kept saying no, but I couldn’t stop.
I didn’t want to stop.
14. She kept arguing with me, so I punched her, and that stopped her complaining.
What’s the big deal? She asked for it. She knew better than to push me.
15. All investments are risky—in a way they, too, are to blame for being so greedy.
It’s their greed that made them invest with me.
Take a deep breath. Did you note how callous and indifferent these individuals are? They truly have no conscience, as Robert Hare pointed out so well in his book Without Conscience. They do as they please, and they rationalize everything they do. In most cases, they will not change, and they don’t respond well to therapy. They are out to get you or something you value or hold dear with as much concern as a snake has for a passing rodent.
In Dangerous Personalities, we enumerated over 200* specific traits that differentiate the narcissist from the predator, and those should be examined closely if you truly want to differentiate these two personality types. Nevertheless, one of the things that I look for in people flawed of character is this: What are they after? Do they want recognition and praise? Or do they want something from you? If so, what?
Another differentiator is that narcissists tend to do things in public; they cherish public adulation and recognition and love a servile, laudatory audience. In contrast, the social predator, for the most part, wants to work in secret and prefers isolation. Any effort to isolate you should be a red flag saying danger!