Does The Narcissist Loves New Supply More?

Does The Narcissist Loves New Supply More

However, as time passes, all the acting and future-faking will wear on the narcissist as the new partner or friend reveals themselves to be just an ordinary human, same as everybody else, and, in doing so, disappoints the narcissist just as everyone else has.

Every relationship is an epic failure to narcissists because their expectations are unviable. They are expecting the other person to be perfect, and by association, to make them perfect.

When this doesn’t happen, they feel swindled, let down, and betrayed.

Unavoidably, the new supply will reveal themselves to be imperfect by possessing a human flaw, having emotional needs, or by learning that the narcissist is not perfect…all of which are forbidden sins in the narcissist’s handbook.

Related: On Narcissistic Supply: How You Provide Necessary Ignition for the Narcissist’s Fuel

How to Know if a Narcissist is Finished With You

There are some narcissists who leave a relationship and are never heard from again. But this is not the most common scenario.

In many cases, you might be absolutely certain the narcissist is gone for good, but then the narcissist will pop back onto the scene as though they’re an old friend who just happened to be in town or saw an old photo of you and they “sincerely” want to know how you’re doing.

Sometimes this happens five or ten years down the road.

This is why you absolutely should not waste your precious time trying to figure out if the narcissist is finished with you or if the narcissist loves new supply more.

It’s you who needs to decide you are done with them.

Why?

Narcissists do not change with the passage of time.

Narcissists do not value anything; do not confuse this with you not having value.

Narcissists do not love anyone, do not confuse this with you being unlovable.

Narcissists cannot appreciate the worthiness and beauty of life, do not confuse this with your being unworthy or not being beautiful.

It is normal human behavior to expect an emotional connection to be returned and it is normal to keep trying harder to have it returned, because it does not make sense that your input is not reciprocated, but you are dealing with a person whose internal workings you cannot begin to imagine.

Narcissists are disconnected from life; they have no knowledge, experience, or memory of love or caring. They cannot appreciate beauty. They are not able to replenish themselves; they have no internal resources and are at the mercy of other people giving them what they need.

Once they have used up one person they move to the next. When you have recovered some energy that is worth taking, they return.

Related: 3 Phases of A Narcissistic Relationship Cycle: Idealize, Devalue, Discard

They know they will be ostracized from society if people know they have no ability to connect emotionally, so they develop in other areas to make themselves attractive – they develop in charm and charisma. But it is important to understand there is no one inside and every breath you spend communicating with them is wasted; they don’t understand and they cannot understand normal emotions.

They will copy emotional words because they have observed it is the best way to get what they want, but there is no substance to them; it is not their fault, but you must not have sympathy for them because they will use it.

It is a no-win situation and you must disconnect totally from these people. They suffer from a constant, torturous, empty boredom that cannot be healed.

They cannot be happy, they also cannot be sad. They are empty. They can only be temporarily filled up by adoration, but they are full of holes and it leaks out very quickly.


Copyright © 2017 by Kim Saeed and Let Me Reach
This article was originally published on the Let Me Reach website and has been printed here with the author’s permission.

The next time you think that the narcissist “loves” their new supply more, think again. It’s all a game to them; they are incapable of loving anyone except for themselves. Never ever think that you are unlovable, or you don’t deserve a loving and fulfilling relationship. You were never the problem, the narcissist was.

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Kim Saeed

Kim Saeed is an internationally respected self-help author and educator specializing in recovery and rebuilding after toxic relationships. She is the founder of Let Me Reach, a life transformation site that teaches people to flourish after narcissistic abuse. She is the author of two Kindle bestsellers, How to Do No Contact Like a Boss! and 10 Essential Survivor Secrets to Liberate Yourself from Narcissistic Abuse. She is also writing an upcoming book, The Way of the Warrior, for Balboa Press, a division of Hay House. ⁣⁣In addition to her own site, Kim also blogs for Psych Central. Her writing has also been featured on Selfgrowth.com, Thought Catalog, The Mind's Journal, MOGUL, and EverythingEHR. She has been a guest expert on several radio shows including Mental Health News Radio, The Overwhelmed Brain, The Inner Revolution, Write of Your Life, and Codependency No More. ⁣⁣In 2016, Kim founded The New Life Academy, which is an online school dedicated to helping survivors of narcissistic abuse to restore and redesign their lives. Kim holds a Bachelor of Arts in Education and has a multidisciplinary background in teaching, organizational development, HR training, and research. Her blog, Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed, has reached 195 countries. Her work has been shared in non-profit women's shelters and has been lauded by therapists and mental health experts. You can find Kim at letmereach.comView Author posts