My Personal Story – My name is Domantas Juodenis

My Personal Story - My name is Domantas Juodenis

My name is Domantas Juodenis. I am currently 30 years old. I was born in 1988-30-12 in Lithuania in the capital Vilnius. I lived with both my parents only for 4 years. After those 4 years, my parents separated for my lying and horrible father who used to physically hurt my mother. After 4 days of their separation, my father isolated me from my mother and I had to live with him for 2 months. During my stay with him, he tried to brainwash me against my mother which scared me a lot. He was trying to propagandize me. After this ugly and frightening span of time, my mother managed to take me away and I spent the rest of my life with her. I am grateful to her for what I am today – a man of values.

Returning to the speech on my life, I studied in grade one when I was 7 years old and I lived with my mother’s father for a while. After my first standard, my mother took me to her sister in town because my mother’s father lived in a small village called Kapciamiestis in Lithuania, and she wanted me to achieve further in life.

So I finished my elementary school in the city called Jonava. After my first elementary school, my mother decided to go to Italy with me, to live with her parents because her sister’s husband said that her husband didn’t want me to stay with their family. As my maternal aunt became ill with lung cancer and the financial crisis in the family came up; being an only child I had to stay with my grandparents, away from my mother, for a while and I waited for my mother to come back from Italy. It was like a miracle to me when I first saw my mother after a long time. I was 12 years then. When I was 13, on a holiday, she took me with her in Italy in Rome. And I started studying in Italy until finishing middle school. The first year I did not know how to write, I did not know how to read; I could not make friends because I could not speak the language they spoke. All of them would look at me as if I were an alien. It was very difficult to be in the middle of all the Italian people and not know how to say ‘hello’ or ‘good evening’. Finally, during the second year, I started to understand and speak the native language. Thanks to the Italian television and my mother’s friends. I made friends and my studies did not interest me anymore so I decided not to go to school to be with friends, who talked behind my back about how fat and ugly I was. When I learned the truth about them and what they didn’t like about me and I know that I could fight.  With the help of my mother’s friend, I had enrolled in karate school since I was 7 years old. My so-called friends took me to the bathroom in the school with them to fight the new guys in our class and laugh at it (it was terrible) and for their fault my mother had to change the city and my school. When we changed the school all was fine. I began to study to the point that I fell in love with a girl; at the first sight. I could not say it because I was shy and ashamed. I told this to some of my friends made at school but they lied to me. They told me that this girl said that she does not like him, because he is fat. I asked what I can do to lose weight to catch her attention. My friends suggested me to start smoking to lose weight. Hence I started smoking. I lost a lot of weight but by the time I decided to talk to her about my feelings, it was too late. When I finally arrived at 15, my mother met an Italian man and left the previous one because they did not love each other, it was just for me that they were together because I called him my father.

We moved to another city called Narni (Italy). I was already finishing my middle school and I wanted to go to high school but my mother did not have money to afford higher education and I was afraid because I was rejected twice as average. My mother’s companion forced me to work and I accepted because I always thought that I prefer to work than to study and I was totally wrong. So I worked for him for a year after the first middle schools. After which I decided to go to the professional school. I joined the carpenter for 3 years and I was already 17 when I graduated as the best student. But I wasn’t quite satisfied. I wanted to be famous so I enrolled in the school to do modelling for fashion shows. After the second competition I won the title of the most beautiful model of Italy in second place. But unfortunately I could not go on because I was 5 months younger than being 18 years. But still I had not lost hope. At 20 years of age, I found a school to make my album and do just this job and I sign up. I passed the course and everyone told me that I’m ideal for this job. So I went with my mother to the secretary to complete the documentations. But we did not have enough money to pay, so without revealing to my mother’s partner, we gave his current account details to pay for the necessary. After a couple of weeks we told him about it and he became nervous but then added everything was all right. So he paid for every month and everything was fine. As the time passed by, he became jealous and began to hate me and stopped the payment. It was just the beginning of my dream. Only 600 euros was left to be paid for the course. But he wasn’t convinced. I tried to talk to him about everything; it was completely useless.

I started living my life like a dog set free and I went away from them to live on my own because I felt very disheartened about my mother’s condition as her partner left her for another woman. When I was 22, my mother’s parents died. My mother was in a miserable state. I left all my work and I went with her to Lithuania. His partner promised us that he would come for us after two weeks of funeral and grief but he lied and left us in Lithuania forever. So with last little money we started ordering the whole house garden forests and lakes. Unfortunately, the money comes and goes; we were without a euro to survive. Luckily my grandfather had a tractor that we could sell, but it was just to have something to live so we sold it for 500 euros, and we survived for a month. As winter came, we were without any food, even bread. I finally found a job for a short time to spend the winter but I could not continue because the work was too difficult and I was hungry. So I only lasted for a couple of weeks. My mother left me for her former company in Italy and spent three months there with him and I was left alone without help because he hated me and did not want me to come.

How do you think I survived? I found that I can take a loan to survive and so I did. After a lent and more, I was able to spend the winter. After my mother’s return he met a man in Lithuania but he was completely without anything; just stood by her because he said he loved her. He was a hard worker and good man to the point that my mother decided to make him a part of our family. Problems started when we only had the benefit of the job centre. He was fine with my mother but didn’t want me next door. For me it was very difficult to accept him as a member of our family but I was happy for my mother. One day I decided to leave them discreetly because I could no longer bear to see my mother suffering for me. I changed the village for a small town called Veisiejai, with little money I had. I took rent from a lady for sleeping in. I lived until I found the job that was comfortable for me and I met a couple of friends to help me establish myself. After a month I bought the flat for rent, and slowly my life got better. I was happy with what I created and made peace with my mother and her friends.

After some time, I met a girl from the city called Alytus. We were friends; we were talking over the phone all day. One day I decided to go and visit her and we made love to each other. But we were working in different cities and I could not be with her. One day she called me to speak about how difficult and lonely it was for her to stay by herself with a baby, a girl of 7 years and a 12-13 years old teenager. These made me feel so bad that I left my job and I started living with her. But it lasted for three weeks only. When I was with her, I was working in construction. It was already almost autumn season. We quarrelled every day and from my experience, I tried to ignore the quarrels and live peacefully with her. All our quarrels cantered around monetary issues. She thought I was rich and I could not handle all these anymore and I left one morning. I found a house for myself. I lived in this house for two months because the cold winter arrived and could not work anymore as the constructions ended. I ran out of my money. I was left with 10 euros. I was lost, depressed and confused. I did not know what to do so I went to try in the Casino where I put the money and I won two jackpots later. So I take a hotel with the money to survive and sleep warmly. I often went to nightclubs to forget about my ex-girlfriend. After two weeks, I was left with nothing but a warm place in the basement.  Luckily, a week afterwards, a good man took me to the house for vagrants; I was there for two weeks without informing anything to my mother and I did not want to go back to her because I was ashamed of myself.

Of frequent I went to the library to look for work. I got a job in Spain and there was nothing to do but to accept everything without thinking about the consequences. So it was a blind street. The publicity said that we give you the post to survive and work does not matter, if you do not have money, so I accepted. I was traveling alone only with bread and water because I did not have anything. The trip had to last 2 days in the van but it took me one week because we had to stop in France for the problem of the water pipe. While we were looking through the village, we found a shop after going 10 km on foot. The problem was that nobody spoke in French. I only spoke in Italian, my mother tongue. But we managed to solve the problem with the few English words I knew. We were 3 days to wait for the order. And in the end we arrived in Spain, and all the promises became nightmare. Everything that was written in the papers was just a deception. I had to live with other people in that house who were alcoholics and drug addicts.

I waited two weeks for work. When I started to work, my job was to collect orange and tangerines and I had to load the boxes of 20 kg free and load quickly and do not get paid for it. I had to collect mandarins and oranges as well to make money and they would not pay for hours, but to the amount. I worked in the sun every day; the temperature was around 50-52 degrees. Many could no longer resist the heat, even I felt bad but I knew that there is no other solution until I knew the language, but then I learn it. I lived 3 months with 20 euros no more because everything I earned, my supervisor took it for himself and as he said was for the rent, but the rent costed only 300 euros per month for 5 people. I earned 50 60 per day in a month. I was finally able to earn 800 euros and I always kept a record of the amount of money. He stole 400 euros a month and gave me 20 euros each week for 3 months. I had already gone through hell and now when I started making more money and beating the best workers, they could not believe it so they wrote more 20kg tricks each day for them and took the boxes from me to make me feel inferior to them. When I came to know about this, I left that company. I started living in the open air without a home for a month. And then I met a good person who asked me to work for him. Everything started becoming better. I made good friends and I got better and I called my mother after 2 years and I invited her to come in Spain to me, to try and help her as well. When she came to Spain, I found a job for her and his companion, but they left after two months to Scotland because for them it was too difficult to live in Spain away from the brother of my mother’s boy and they found themselves better in Scotland than in Spain. I was happy for them. The work I was doing was about to end. The problems of the past came back to haunt me. I was totally destroyed by life; I tried to kill myself many times. I did not know how to get out of it. Even when things have got better today, the past still pursues me.

After my mother left, I meet a girl who changed my life. They say not to believe in angels but she was an angel. The whole month we spent together was like a dream for me. She made me feel good by being there for me in difficult moments, by loving me and always staying close to me in every breathe, in every minute. She always told me that real heroes fall again and again but get back up with a mission in life. I proposed to her to live with me but she refused because she said she had something to do and never told me where she came from. Whenever we spoke about it, she always changed the subject. She left and I could never contact her because there was not chance to call her. But today I remember her after 5 years as if like it was just yesterday. Sometimes she writes to me and I reply to her but immediately the conversation ends. Till today, I know nothing about her, except the fact that she gave me a taste of true love even if for a month. In 2014 I arrived in Scotland.  I have directly started to look for work without the language issues. I have helped my friends to find the job and even open a bank account. All worked out well but mistakes of the past have always been with me. After a month I started to change. I became a stoic person without emotions.  I began to read a lot; starting from topics on psychology, astronomy, biology and spiritualism. The more difficult my life seemed to me, the easier I started to understand things that nobody understood. In the end I found myself amidst all these chaos.  I came back to how I was before and I learned from my mistakes and today I am a completely changed man. I learned what I did not know before.  Now I speak 5 languages perfectly; my mother tongue, Russian Italian, Spanish and English.

The torment of the past will always be here with me but it is only negative energy that can be transformed into positive. Life is not easy to manage. Only one must believe in oneself and let go of one’s fears and pain. Without bad luck, comes no good luck and hence one must never give up to bad luck. Now I am in complete control of my emotions and pride. I can already say I am on the shore of the mountain but I have to choose what is best for me to live the rest of my life in happiness, freedom and especially LOVE. This is my story for now.

No one will ever know about the adventures to come. We all have a tomorrow and everything depends on yourself; you must create your own story and your destiny. What life has planned for us is not in our control. You only have to know that the evil and the good in your life always flows in the same river.

Thank you for reading.

Domantas Juodenis