2. Ask, “What am I being taught?”
When you stop perceiving your misfortune as an opportunity to pity yourself and start viewing it as an opportunity to grow … your entire life changes. No longer are you impotent, feeble, or “the victim” – instead, you become strong and hopeful. Asking “What am I being taught?” in any stressful or burdensome situation is an opportunity to empower yourself and let yourself learn from the situation. This can obviously be hard to do.
It took me two decades of my life to finally force myself to see things a different way. This was because I unconsciously loved the self-righteous feeling that my victim story gave me (i.e. “I’m a victim of life: I have the right to be angry and treat others badly”). So give yourself space and time. But most of all, try. You may even find it much quicker and easier than I did.
3. Stop blaming other people.
When we’re in pain, it’s natural for us to immediately look for “the one to blame.” We may blame our parents, our partners, our children, our colleagues, our boss, our friends, society, and anyone or anything who we feel could fit the bill. The truth is that none of these people, no matter what part they have played in our lives, are truly to blame. In fact, blame itself is unhealthy. It’s much better to accept the part you’ve played in your unhappiness and move on. That’s it.
4. Ask, “Where can I go from here?”
Too often we get bogged down in the turbulent emotions we feel and forget to take a practical approach to our pain. In order to be balanced humans, need to make use of emotion and logic. In this case, think about what you can do to remedy your suffering. Where can you go from here? What steps can you take (no matter how big or small) to feel better? For example, you may like to start looking for new jobs, or even better, start a company of your own. You may like to sign up for a local support group or buy a self-help guide. You may even decide to simply take a deep breath and relax into the present moment. The point is to do something, rather than continuing to simmer in your angst.
5. Your life has no limits. The only limits you create are in your mind.
This may sound cliché, but it is true. There is nothing stopping me from jumping on the bus and traveling to the beach right now – but myself. There is nothing stopping you from using every moment of your spare time to learn a new exciting trade that you can create a business out of … but yourself. When you come to realize how limitless your existence is, life takes on a new perspective. The only thing preventing you from writing your own book, watching the sunset every day, or planning a luxurious holiday is your limiting beliefs, ideals, expectations, and assumptions about what you can and can’t do.
6. Create a safe space that can’t be taken away.
As I mentioned previously in this article, the only certainty in life is uncertainty. You don’t know what your life will look like in 1 year, not even 1 week, day, or even minute. So what can you do? You can create a safe space within yourself. You can learn to become conscious of your destructive self-talk and replace it with kindness. You can learn to forgive your flaws and mistakes and celebrate your strengths and gifts. You can learn to respect your needs and dreams and have faith in your ability to fulfill them. You can learn to trust your strength to make it through the hard times. This is all the essence of what self-love is.
Your Life Sucks, My Life Sucks, and So Does Everyone Else’s …
There will always be someone who has a better and also a suckier life than you. The point is to be thankful for what you do have – EVEN if that requires forcing yourself into the habit. Yes, this may sound like a nauseating piece of advice, but in my experience, it’s worth doing.
Do you feel as though your life sucks at the moment? Has this article inspired any new perspectives? Please share below in the comments for everyone’s benefit!
Originally appeared on Lonerwolf.com