In my own personal circumstances, after being no contact for over a year, I decided to send an email.
There were things I needed to say. I did not expect or need a response. Below are some extracts from that email.
‘…Your behavior because you were not the centre of attention, was one that one would expect from a five year old. The emotions of a man of your nature have not matured with age. They have got stuck somewhere in your childhood and sadly that is just the way you are and will always be.
I have been told that you have moved on and found someone else. I would like to wish you all the best and hope that it works out but I won’t because I know that it will end just like all the others. You are not capable of a deep and lasting love. Your relationships will all turn into dictatorships and if they have any self-respect they will run at the first sign of manipulation and control.
(This relationship didn’t last long.)
When I found out what you said to my daughter at Christmas 2012 when I sent you up your Christmas dinner and I had the flu, I honestly couldn’t believe that someone would be so cruel. In case you have forgotten, I will remind you. You said, ‘it’s not a bit of wonder your daddy did what he did.’
(My husband had taken his own life)
Why such a callous remark? That was truly a despicable thing to say, even for you. When I have told people that, they have all said that I am better off without someone who could say something so cruel.
(My son had initiated a tribunal case against him)
The lies you told didn’t surprise me. I honestly believe we would have won the case but there was so much work going on in the house at the time that I didn’t need the hassle or the stress so it was better to walk away. However, it did give me some satisfaction when my son received a cheque for back pay and the Revenue informed us that you had been fined. Justice was done in the end.
You know that I saw you stalking me at the farm in June. I don’t know what that was about but I can tell you that I am very happy there and so are Ben and Asia. (My two horses.)
I came over to Tenerife in May / June to see the dentist in Los Abrigos and had to come back for a few weeks now. For the past two weeks I have been staying in the Penthouse in Duquesa del Mar, a beautiful complex. I met a lovely couple here and I have been offered an apartment here any time I want it and I intend to take them up on that offer. I know last year …..(his son) told people that I was over here stalking you when I was staying 20 miles away. When I found out I sent him a text saying that if he pushed me too far that I would see him in court. That still stands.
Remind him that it was me who booked a holiday to this area in the first place and I like it too.
(He bought an apartment there two years ago and I was told not to go back to the area.)
When I was speaking to Ronny the other day, he agreed and said, ‘Why shouldn’t you come back here?’ Exactly. God willing. I intend to.