Have you ever heard of the term misplaced worth? Something that almost every human being who exists on this planet, go through?
I watched an 8-year old boy audition for “The Voice Kids”. This boy came onto the stage and sang a song. He put his whole heart into his performance and it was felt by the audience, including myself. Was it technically perfect? No. You could see that the judges were emotionally moved by the performance, but not one of them turned their chair around, which would have indicated an interest in pursuing the singer further.
Immediately after the boy’s performance was over, there was a sense of disappointment that fell on the boy. You could feel his pain as the judges were speaking to him after the performance.
I thought I would share a few things that occurred to me in witnessing that event.
Children come, we all come into this world with some borrowed idea that our value, our sense of worth, is determined by whether or not others accept us or want what we have to offer. In carrying that old underlying belief with us in our life, we continually seek that approval and acceptance in the world outside. We never really question where that belief came from, to begin with.
What if we were to question the contradiction that came up in that boy from his performance that I just spoke of. Here’s the contradiction: How can doing something that I truly wish to do (audition for the Voice) and in doing the very best I am able to do at the moment (which he did), not be good enough?
I’m not speaking of the judges judging him. They have a certain caliber that they are seeking. I am speaking about the child judging himself, because how can a child, or any of us accept ourselves as we are if that acceptance is always based on how others feel about us?
Could disappointment exist without an expectation for validation of oneself?
If we identify with an expectation or outcome, there will be either the “yay” or “nay”, (the happy or sad) that comes with it. We are “happy” if the outcome is what we want. We are “sad” if the outcome isn’t. So, what are we to do?
Want to know more about how you can not let misplaced worth get to you? Rejection: Why You Must Not Let Others Behavior Affect Your Self Worth
I wonder sometimes what a child’s life might be like if they were given the liberty to pursue what they wish to pursue in life, not for the outcome of something that validates them as “special”, “important” or gives them hope for a “financially luxurious life”, but instead to pursue what their heart wishes to pursue.
In allowing a child to follow their heart, we can teach them to watch the voices that come up in their minds that say things like “It’s no use”, “This is too hard”, “I don’t want to do this anymore”, “They don’t like me”, and encourage them to persist through that.
Perhaps in persisting through what it is in a child’s heart that they wish to learn about and explore for the sake of the love of it, the child might find that the very worth, the value of themselves that they have been seeking outside of themselves, is actually found in the agreement to persist in following their heart no matter what. In that agreement to persist for the sake of Love, they become one with the flow of Love itself, and Love is its own value. Then there is no longer a need to seek value and worth outside of oneself.
We all have a voice and are meant to contribute to this world in our own way. Not as being better than others (seen as special), but being equal to others in our own unique way. There is a distinct difference in that. We seem to forget that any so-called talent that we have, we didn’t give ourselves. Yes, we may have worked diligently to become a great swimmer, a great runner, etc., but that great swimmer, that great runner, if truly realized by us, always existed within us, just awaiting our realization of that very fact.
If we can remember that and instill that in our child, we can bring humility and true value into this world that so desperately needs it.
If you want to know more about tackling misplaced worth, then check this video out below: