Misplaced Loyalty Toward Hurtful Parents

Misplaced Loyalty Toward Hurtful Parents

Want to know more about how you can move on from hurtful parents? Read How I Survived A Narcissistic Mother and how you can do it too

We need to let go of our feelings of obligation and recognize that if we’d been loved, we would be happy to return the sentiment. In loving families, guilt and obligation never enter into the equation. We want to believe that we belong to a close, happy family, and for those of us who have this, we should appreciate it. For those of us who don’t however, it’s time to face the truth.

We need to see that care-taking hurtful parents aren’t going to make them love us and it isn’t even going to make them happy. People who are so emotionally damaged that they’re unable to love their children aren’t really capable of happiness, either. They try to use us to meet some deep unfulfilled needs within them, but nothing we do could heal the emotional wounds that make them unable to love or care for us.

We’re better off facing the truth about our parents; giving up our futile attempts at winning their love and focusing our attention instead of pursuing more obtainable and fulfilling goals. We can start by working on developing the self-love and self-confidence that our childhoods deprived us of. Then we can enter into relationships with people who are capable of loving and accepting us, just as we are.


Originally appeared on Marcia Sirota MD

If you’re a people-pleaser and can’t stop being nice, Check out Marcia’s upcoming book: Be Kind, Not Nice: How to Stop People-Pleasing, Build Your Confidence and Discover Your Authentic Self

Publication date: December 1, 2016 on Amazon.ca and Amazon.com

If you have grown up with hurtful parents, then don’t even for a second think that it was your fault. It wasn’t your fault that your parents did not love you the way deserved. It’s not your fault that your parents couldn’t be better role models for you. How they treated you is a reflection of them, not you.

If you want to know more about hurtful parents, then check this video out below:

Hurtful Parents
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