What We’re Missing
Despite the majority of men in my study indicating that feeling sexually desired by their female partner was an important part of their sexuality when I asked men if there was anything, they wished their partners were doing more of to help them feel desired only 12% of participants indicated their partner made them feel as desired as they wanted. The other 88% of participants indicated that they wished their partner did the things described above. In fact, some participants indicated they were reflecting back on times when their partner used to do these things or said they were imagining things they would like their partner to do but indicated it was not something they actually experienced in their relationship.
Men’s desire to feel desired has important implications, particularly in heterosexual relationships. First, it’s important to consider how much space we’re leaving in our society for men to be vulnerable, wanted, desired, and not always be the ones who are dominant and in control during sexual encounters. And while women certainly aren’t at fault, nor purely responsible for making their partner’s feel desirable, it may be empowering for some women to consider taking a more active sexual role through pursuing, desiring, and initiating sex with their partner instead of being more passive and responsive, as the more traditional, stereotypical sexual roles our society continues to prescribe.
Even though society might portray men as people who are always looking for sex, and sex is the only thing on their minds, the truth is far from different. They also want to be sexually desired and made to be felt special. Men have emotions just like women, and making them feel desired is one of the best ways to keep them happy.
If you want to know more about the things that make men feel sexually desired, then check out this video below: