Narcissists are toxic people who use maladaptive behaviors to manipulate and exploit friends, partners, and family members. They care only about themselves and will do anything to get what they want. They may appear charming and reasonable, and that’s why it’s so easy to fall victim to the various manipulative strategies used by them to control you.
Who Is A Narcissist?
To a narcissist, they are the center of their own universe. They believe in using people to fulfill their own desires. Narcissists lack empathy for others and use overconfidence to mask their insecurities & low self-esteem. They feel superior by demeaning others and by demanding constant attention & admiration.
Narcissists are often bullies and may cause emotional trauma to others. They make promises that they don’t keep. A narcissist will make you feel weak, unimportant, uncared & ignored affecting your self-esteem and confidence.
10 Strategies Used By Narcissists To Manipulate And Dominate You
1. They devalue you.
A narcissist will start by praising you incessantly and putting you on a pedestal. Once you are addicted to their intoxicating charm, they will change their personality in the blink of an eye. Before you know it, they will start insulting you, engage in name-calling, and criticizing your opinions, beliefs, and qualities they once admired. This can seriously affect your emotional and mental health.
Related: Dehumanization: A Narcissist’s Ultimate Manipulation Tool
2. They bring in third person perspective.
By using third-party reinforcements, they validate themselves further. This method of triangulation can make you suspect your own judgments. The third person is often manipulated to support the narcissist and invalidate you. The third person is used as a weapon against you.
3. They can be very aggressive.
Narcissists can easily burst out of anger to make you surrender. They use scare tactics like verbal and physical aggression whenever triggered. They will show a complete lack of control over their behavior. They will intimidate you, threaten you, control your behavior & relationships, and make you do things they want by making you afraid.
4. They shame you.
They will use your vulnerabilities and insecurities in their favor by shaming you publicly and privately. By shaming you about your biggest insecurity, they will manipulate you until you lose your sense of worth and self-esteem. They will often say it was a joke after making you feel weak and looking for validation from them.
5. They make you feel crazy.
Crazy-making or gaslighting is an insidious manipulative strategy that makes you question your own sanity. You will feel as if you’re imagining things and lose your sense of reality. This will stop you from confronting misbehavior and abuse. Gaslighting is dangerous as there is no proof of whether they actually did or said something irrationally.
Related: Manipulation Of The Charming Narcissist
6. They brainwash you.
A narcissist will brainwash you to believe that they own you and you serve them without question. You will willingly do things they want, even if you’re uncomfortable. If you fail to do what they ask, they will make you feel guilty and that you’re a failure.
7. They control everything.
Narcissists take charge of everything making you feel powerless and dependent on them. You will completely rely on them to get anything done. If anything threatens their control over you and your life, they will make sure to get rid of it to gain back their dominance.
8. They act victimized.
Narcissists play the victim to make you feel guilty even though they are the abusers. They will trick you and make you feel they need you. They use devious tactics and make false promises to manipulate you to comply with their wishes. You will end up feeling that you are the one abusing their feelings and you need to change yourself to make them happy.
9. They talk only about themselves.
A narcissist will easily convert any conversation and make it about them. They will start bragging about themselves and their achievements, even if they need to lie. They will never say anything positive about anyone or anything else which does not concern them. If you manage to change the topic, they will quickly change it back to them and completely ignore what you said.
Related: 8 Evasion Tactics Narcissists Use To Stop You From Questioning Them
10. They shift blame.
They are the masters of projection and use it as a defensive mechanism to avoid any responsibility. As they believe they are perfect, they desperately try shifting the blame on others to avoid their own shortcomings. By making others feel ashamed and guilty, they easily avoid being held accountable.
Do you think a narcissist is manipulating you or someone you know? Have you ever encountered a narcissist? Share your story in the comments section below.
Response
I swear to God this sounds just like my husband. When we first met I didnt want a relationship and tried to fend him off on a friend, he kept coming back and I evenyually thought he was one of the sweetest men I had ever met. He listened to me. I mean he really seemed to listen to what I had to say. Within 8 months we bought an RV and hit the road then everything changed. Everything I did from that point on was wrong. Within a year we came back home but now I have no job, no car, no money of my own, my parents have passed on and I am stuck. Everyone and I do mean everyone else is always wrong, not him. I have told him I dont get to go to any of the places I used to go or do any of the things I used to do because he doesnt want to. He is always turning my words around or saying i said things I never said and I believe he does little things around the house to make me think I am crazy(like if I put a fresh towel in the bathroom he puts it back and when I ask what happened to the towel he says I must not have done it)( I actually started testing my theory, making absolute mental notes of thing I do)He is pretty smart and post very positive things like love, light happiness kind of stuff on FB but he acts absolutely so totally different when others arent around. If something has happened that I feel the need to talk about, he tells me it never happened. He makes alot of money and tells me he can make in 3 months what I could make in a year so it’s not worth it for me to work and lets me know that what I used to make is nothing. I tell him all the time how did I ever make it thru life before him with the money I made. When I recently started very aggressively insisting I should be able to work my car has mysteriously stopped working and he says he will fix it, mind you he doesnt know cars. 2 days ago I said I wanted a divorce and thank God he just moved out this morning. I still have no money, no car but I made a call to legal aid as soon as he left and they will call back in a few days. I am scared but feel so relieved. Working on gathering stuff to sell to buy a bike so I can look for work and I’m actually happy about it. I am on my new journey.I know I am not the person he says I am. He emailed earlier this evening saying this isnt what he wanted but I didnt even open the email to read the rest of it. I know whats been going on and I am finally fighting back in my own way.