Once you turn to addictive behaviors such as food, alcohol, drugs, activities, shame, and blame, you have abandoned yourself. In attempting to avoid feeling the loneliness, heartbreak, and helplessness, you have created inner aloneness – self-abandonment. Self-abandonment occurs when your intent is to avoid pain rather than lovingly attend to your authentic feelings. The combination of avoiding loneliness, heartbreak, helplessness and the aloneness that comes from inner abandonment can lead to anxiety, depression, and despair. People then often turn to prescription drugs to further avoid their feelings.
Managing the feelings of loneliness, heartbreak and helplessness is not as hard as you may think it is. If you practice the following aspects of Inner Bonding, you will find that you do not need to use your various addictions to avoid pain.
- Stay tuned into your body/feelings so that you know when you are feeling lonely or helpless. It’s very important to be able to acknowledge and name the feeling, and it may take some time to recognize these feelings since you may have been avoiding them for so long. Consciously decide that you want responsibility for nurturing and then releasing these feelings.
- Welcome and embrace the feelings, opening with deep compassion for these feelings. Connect with a spiritual Source of love and compassion (which you can learn to do through practicing Inner Bonding), open to this Source and ask for help in being in compassion for the feelings.
- Hold the feelings as you would a child who is hurting, with deep love and understanding. Just be with the feelings with deep acceptance of them for a few minutes.
- Open to learning about what the feelings are telling you about a person or a situation, and about what would be the loving action toward the person or situation.
- Consciously be willing to release the feelings. Imagine the feelings of loneliness, heartbreak, and helplessness moving through you and being released into the Universe – into Divine Love. Ask Spirit to replace these feelings with inner peace.
You will find that these painful feelings will release if you practice these steps rather than abandon yourself in the face of painful events and experiences.
Written by Margaret Paul, PhD
For information or to schedule a phone or Skype session: 310-459-1700 • 888-646-6372 (888-6INNERBOND) http://www.innerbonding.com
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