Here’s an example of what I mean. A young woman who is insecure and wants desperately to be liked by others might desire certain clothes so that she fits in with the group. The desire for clothes is coming from an inner place of feeling somehow “less than,” or that there’s something wrong with her, which means she’s not aligned with Source; she doesn’t understand her true Divine nature.
She may experience initial pleasure with the clothes and a relieved sense of belonging in the group, but over time, if she doesn’t find her sense of belonging with Source, she may continue to buy physcial things in a misguided attempt to fill a non-physical void which is caused by not understanding who she really is.
Another young woman, grounded and confident, has a gifted sense of color and texture, and she knows what kinds of things she feels really good in. She loves clothes as an expression of who she is and experiences great delight in wearing them. She’s buying clothes not to fill a void, but to express the fullness of who she is.
In this example, the purity and life-giving nature of desire is fulfilled through the confident woman’s embrace of her unique gifts, and it’s distorted by the insecure woman’s false beliefs in being “less than” the others.
This is true for all of us. It is only our self-judgment and self-doubt that compromise the fullness of experience our natural desires are leading us to.
If the confident woman, free of self-judgment, was exhorted to surrender her passion for clothes to the Divine so it could be softened to a mere preference, that would serve only to diminish her trust in herself and in the natural, life-giving flow of energy that desire gives us.
On the other hand, if the insecure woman was encouraged to surrender her desire for clothes to the Divine – and was guided through that process – she could recognize that it came from fear. She could begin to connect with her own Divine nature and learn to recognize her genuine gifts and desires.
I’ve worked with countless people who, like the confident woman who might have been encouraged to tone down her passion, have heartfelt desires to create, share or experience something that really lights them up – in other words, something that would allow them to experience more of their divine spark – yet they doubt the desire itself, thinking in many cases that it’s selfish to want something for themselves.
I’ve also worked with people who are so single-minded in their very specific desire for something that they’re constantly disappointed it isn’t showing up the way they want it to. The specificity of the desire, and their rigid focus on it, is usually an indicator that it’s arising from a place of fear or insecurity: they believe they’re not “okay,” in some way, and that they need whatever they want to prove otherwise to themselves. Just like the insecure young woman in our example.
So where does that leave us?
That’s a question that could take countless books and lifetimes to answer, but here’s a place to start if you’re either doubting your desires or feeling intense frustration that they haven’t yet materialized:
1. First, never judge your desires. Even if they arise from a place of fear, judging yourself can only diminish you further.
2. With an open heart and a sense of genuine curiosity, ask yourself why you want what you want. The purpose of this question is NOT to justify or defend what you want. It’s to gain clarity about what gave rise to it.
3. If you realize that your desire stems from a sense of fear or unworthiness or a need to prove yourself, drop deeply within and feel what you really want – perhaps a genuine sense of being loved and supported, or being respected, or being at peace – and let that be the desire you embrace with all your heart.
4. If you recognize that your desire arises not from fear but from a life-affirming impulse to experience and express more of who you are, say YES! to it and embrace it with all your heart.
Now you can turn it over to the Divine – not to simmer it down to a mere preference, but to elevate and celebrate it. Offer appreciation for the desire itself, which arises from the heart of the Creator, and open to guidance about any steps that are yours to take in realizing it. That’s how you make peace with desires.
Related: Hidden Desires Of Each Zodiac Sign
I understand that your desires may not fall neatly into the steps and categories I’ve outlined, but I hope you get the larger point of treating yourself and your desires with respect, and continually opening yourself to greater clarity and guidance about them without judgment.
One more thing – embrace without question your desires for states of being such as joy, peace, generosity, delight, satisfaction, ease, focus, openness, light-heartedness, etc. Declare them to be your intentions and let the magic happen. Anything you could possibly want in the material world can flow to you much more easily from a quality of consciousness that harmonizes with your inner divinity – even if you didn’t know you wanted it.
And remember always, you are a one-of-a-kind, brilliant being whose heartfelt desires express the glorious truth of who you are. Let them sparkle and shine.
I would love to hear from you! Please share your thoughts in the section for Comments, below. Thank you!
Written by: Suzanne Eder
Originally appeared on: Suzanne Eder
Republished with permission
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