Talk and laugh with other people of your opposite sex (avoid cheap flirting). This raise alarm in your partner’s mind about his/her position, at that current moment.
Remember, you are very much in a committed relationship, but your job is to make your partner realise that he/she is not the only one in your life. There are other people who see the spark in you and in fact are intrigued by you: they would love to do anything to have you in their lives.
You intention here is NOT to make your partner feel insecure or cheat on your partner. That’s a double NO.
3. Exercise self-independency
“I survive on self-approval. The value you put on me is a cherry on the cake.”
How often do you think a person who is independent and on their own, ever need the approval of others to function?
When you are deeply concerned about your life, I promise, you will naturally, effortlessly survive without your partner’s approval. In fact, you wanting to raise your own value in the eyes of your lover, indicates how badly you need to work on your self-esteem.
There’s nothing worse than being dependent on your partner for anything and getting your expectations broken. Work on increasing self-reliance. Stop asking for your partner’s help by figuring out things by yourself.
Are you used to taking his/her advice? Stop that too. Your partner’s opinion might matter to you but don’t you think you can take your own decisions? Make your own choices.
This sends your partner a clear message that you can be on your own and do not need your partner’s assistance in everything you do.
Wield the power being self-sufficient. You are independent and you know how to value yourself.
4. Curb your availability:
“You there?” “Well, not always.”
This trick is aligned to that of number 1. Curbing your availability is a trick to delay gratification.
Is your partner missing you too much at home? Did he text you? Tell him/her you have extra work at the office and can’t make it earlier instead of typing, “Here I am baby. Just off to you.”
- If you tend to be clingy, stop being so.
- Take time to reply your partner if it’s not too urgent.
- Call them less often.
- Do not do things they are dependent on you for, like cooking for them, picking them up, or making their bed etc.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder. The lesser your partner sees of you, the more he/she will wonder about you. This temporarily created space helps your partner to realise what your absence would mean to them.
Your personal boundaries with your partner defines the health of your relationship. Setting a reasonable boundary ensures that your relationship is mutually respectful and caring in nature. Your set personal boundary establishes guidelines of how other people can behave around you or how much you will allow them to cross those limits.
When your personal boundary is vague and tends to disintegrate with that of your partner’s personal boundary, you lose your sense of self. Compromising your principles will only provide your partner too seize the opportunity to take you for granted.
Make your boundaries less flexible, more well defined and non-negotiable. This will surely turn your partner’s attention to your new boundaries. Start to say more ‘nos’ and less ‘yeses’. Balance it well so that it does not look like ignorance. Stop obliging your partner for everything they ask for. This will make them realise your importance.
6. Refocus on self
”If you don’t love yourself, nobody will. Not only that, you won’t be good at loving anyone else. Loving starts with the self.” – Wayne Dyer
The harsh truth is, you do not need to use tricks to make your partner realise your value. And that is only possible when you have immense love and appreciation for yourself. If this self-love suffices, you will not need to hanker for your partner’s attention.