Go dark on him.
Stop answering his calls and texts for a few days.
Give him a little reason to wonder about what you’re up to and maybe even worry.
If you feel a little bit uneasy about doing this, remember that he’s doing it to you by accident all the time.
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How do you feel when he goes dark, when he doesn’t answer your calls or texts?
You worry, don’t you?
I’m not saying to torture him, but you would do well to get your own life really busy so that maybe you forget him for a little bit.
This will give him a reason to double-check his assumptions about you and his control over you and the relationship.
Make HIM worry about losing you.
2. Be more selfish.
We’re taught at a young age that being selfish is a bad thing, especially for a female.
This is actually a lie. Being selfish is very constructive and it’s also positive. I mean for a four-year-old, of course, it’s great advice. “Don’t be selfish. Learn how to share and how to get along.”
But after about the age of 10, that’s a lesson that you’ve either got or you don’t. And quite honestly, you learn it by just interacting with your friends anyways.
When we get older, we often think that putting ourselves first is a huge sin when exactly the opposite is true.
If you don’t take care of yourself, you’ll never really be much good for other people. It’s like that part of the speech they give you on an airplane when they talk about the oxygen masks. Put yours on first before you help the person next to you.
You have to be making sure that you’re safe and capable otherwise how can you help other people? I’ll give you a quick answer.
What I’m really telling you here is this.
Stop doing so much work to make him love you.
First, it’s not working the way you think it is.
Second, that’s ultimately not what makes a man love you. When you cook his dinner, clean his house, do the laundry, shop for groceries, pull all those little curly’s out of the drain, pick up his undies off the floor, all that stuff.
When you do that stuff, he will expect you to do everything for him.
As soon as he realizes how reliant he is on you, he’ll start working to keep that relationship that he otherwise might lose. Men fall in love with a woman because she does— some small way— complete him.
Mostly, he falls in love with a woman because he realizes she doesn’t really need him.
In that discovery, he sees her strength. He can add to his own in the relationship and that is how a relationship becomes strong and honest. Let him know that he could lose you.
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3. Remind him he’s only a lease.
Being a couple when you’re not married is the same as renting an apartment. It’s not so permanent as you might think.
Marriage is like buying a house. It’s still not permanent, but it’s a bigger commitment.
Remind him that he’s just a lease right now. You have to do this every so often to make sure he doesn’t start taking you for granted.
Here are a few ways you can make him realize he’s going to lose you by reminding him he doesn’t have a permanent place in your life.
My way or the highway.
If you let him get his way most of the time, pull the plug on that for a little bit.
A few times per week, you choose the restaurant for once. Choose the wine, the movie, the position, and let him know that you have your own will power.