9. Empower him/her. Pathological people seek out smart, successful, empathic people as targets for their abuse. It is because of their emotional IQ and compassion that the survivor was targeted. S/he will heal in time and reclaim their wellness.
Here’s what you can refrain from doing:
1. Do not blame, shame, or criticize your loved one.
2. Question the timing of the healing process and how long it seems to be taking to heal (on average, with solid No Contact with an abuser, a survivor may take at minimum 18 months to really heal from the traumatic relationship, and usually longer even with psychotherapy and other interventions).
3. Do not encourage contact with the abuser. Part of the healing process is breaking free from a pathological person and going No Contact (or Limited Contact in the case that that the survivor shares children/a business).
4. Do not suggest the survivor is responsible for their abuse. Abuse is never ok. There is no excuse for abuse, and it is not the survivor’s fault.
5. Do not intervene between the survivor and the narcissist. Allow the survivor to be empowered to seek out his/her own qualified therapy and legal support.
Contributed by the author