Lessons Learned On My Journey To Love

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Love Lesson #4: You are the common denominator

If you are continuing to experience the same dynamics with different men it’s because you don’t realize you are the common denominator in every one of your relationships.  What this means is what’s been happening in your love life is a result of who you are being and what you’re doing.  I share this to help you become aware of how you have been contributing to the results you’ve gotten so far.

Understanding that you’ve been the one in all of your relationships is empowering.  With this knowledge, you can discover the habits and patterns that haven’t been supporting you to have your ideal love life.  Knowing these habits and patterns helps you to do the inner work to then have true love.

Here’s what you can do to get started.

Love Lesson #5: Self-love is the way to a high quality love life

Looking for love from a guy ultimately won’t make you feel truly happy and fulfilled.  Instead, it will be elusive making love seem hard and unattainable.  This external love is wrapped up in expectations, obligations, needs, and shoulds. 

Needing love from a guy when you don’t love yourself will suffocate him and squash any desire he has about committing to you.

There’s a reason why there’s a lot of talk about self-love.  It’s because self-love is the most critical piece of a truly happy and fulfilling love life.  The more you love yourself, the more you’ll experience a higher quality love that is filled with happiness, meaning and ease.




 

I’d love to hear about the lessons you’ve learned on your journey to love.  Feel free to share them in the comments below.


Written by JANET ONG ZIMMERMAN
Originally appeared in Love for successful women

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Janet Ong Zimmerman, founder of Love for Successful Women, mentors women are professionally successful yet still missing that deep and meaningful love. She helps them simplify love, so they can see things clearly and know what to do. Janet's gentle and introspective manner helps her clients feel at ease, confident and hopeful about love. Her own experience of marrying her soul mate later in life has reinforced her belief any woman, at any age, can have the love they desire. Janet wholeheartedly believes there is a special someone for every woman. Janet inspires women to open their hearts to the real meaning of love through her editorial contributions to Your Tango, eHarmony, and the Huffington Post Live. Your monthly guide to love is filled with insightful articles, inspirational resources and best practices that you can put into immediate use. You canread current and past issues here.