Is the love gone? It’s an important question because love is essential. Without it where are we? Is our relationship just a friendship? Is it more? Is it perhaps far, far less? Just thinking about these things can make your heart hurt. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t think about them forever. Because if the love is gone then they might be soon as well. And if you’re not prepared that can hurt more than anything in the world. It’s like lightning from a blue sky.

So yes, love is a choice. And so is leaving yourself wide open to be hurt. It just isn’t a very good one. So today, let’s explore some of the signs that the love is gone.

The future has faded

You don’t spend all your time making plans anymore. In fact, you find yourself not talking about future at all anymore. It’s because secretly your future doesn’t contain them in it anymore. Sometimes you guiltily add them in after a moment’s reflection. Sometimes you startle yourself out of a daydream where you’re all alone or with somebody else and happy.

However it manifests, that it does is what matter. The future is one where either you they or both of you have imagined yourselves you’ve having gone in different directions but nobody has been brave enough to bring it up yet.

The ‘I love you’s have slipped away

Maybe it isn’t intentional, but it’s there. You, or they, or both of you say it anymore. That’s because you don’t feel it anymore. Sometimes that happens for a little while. Sometimes it happens for a lot longer. In the latter case, that’s something you need to talk about. If you don’t, then you can be sure you won’t be talking about many things much longer.

If this has started to happen pay attention to how it feels when you say it. Does it feel like just a few more words? Like you’re asking how the weather is? Like the words have lost their meaning? Then you can be pretty sure you’re relationship has run ashore.

It’s just another routine

You go through the motions, but that’s about it. The reason you’re together is more that you’re so used to being together that you don’t really know how to be apart. You’re still trying to work that stage out in your mind – or perhaps you haven’t even started thinking about it too hard. Maybe you’re not there yet.

Nonetheless, the feelings are gone. You might still laugh together, or smile, or pick good movies to watch together, but it’s a bit like brushing your teeth, or taking a shower. Yeah, sure, it feels nice, but it’s no longer rocking your world.

You can’t help but nag

In the beginning, they’re perfect. Then you start to notice the faults. That’s normal. The problem is when the faults take over and all those things you did like end up being swallowed up by them. All you see is one big fault.

And they you start to nag. Not because you want to, but because you want to bring back some of that person you cared about so much. And you mistakenly believe that its them that has changed, when really it’s your perception of them that has.

You start looking at other people

While before you only had eyes for them. That’s a pretty good sign. It means you’re considering alternatives, even if you’re only doing so subconsciously. You’re starting to see the value of other partners, which means you’re starting to no longer value the partner that you’re with.

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