He explains how just their presence can yield a sense of calm, empathy and serves as a diffuser for the energy of the house and their absence would impact the situation negatively.
I had to adopt the same belief – not that I was being inactive in a literal sense. But that being able to operate from a space of calm confidence as opposed to stress and overwhelm could significantly influence the mood and energy in the house.
When you move through your journey, remember there will be times where you may feel inactive or that you are not doing enough but remember the power you yield and how this role can bring great contribution and value.
Does this contract or expand me?
“Spend your time on those that love you unconditionally. Don’t waste it on those that only love you when the conditions are right for them” – Unknown
When you aren’t sure what to do about an opportunity, this is the benchmark question to identify what you should say yes to and what you should politely decline. Very simply – if it energises you, do it. If it depletes you, find the courage and compassion to walk away and say no. This is not only about opportunities but clears up who you want to spend time your precious time with.
They either deplete you or help recharge your battery. Surround yourself with the people who grow you, encourage you and support you. Reciprocate back and be that person for someone else.
“We have more possibilities available in each moment than we realize” – Thich Nhat Hanh
There is one more piece of advice I want to share with you. It isn’t a question but a daily reminder. Although I know this concept and it has served me well, I often forget about it when I need it most.
You tend to live in your head and default to operating in a state of doing. There is nothing wrong with this but true recovery and stillness requires being. This took me a long time to grasp – being means allowing yourself to be in the present moment without trying to control it and without this constant sense that you should be somewhere else.
I want to share this quote with you by author Tim Grimes. Remember it, write it on your desktop and put it into your calendar as a daily reminder:
“Everything is already perfect, whether you like it or not. You become at peace with the moment by recognizing that there’s nothing better than it. And you’ll feel and know this intimately because there’s a deep satisfaction when you’re just here now and not wanting anything else.”
“Peace is to be found in this moment. It isn’t something we attain. When we go out looking for it, we miss the point. It isn’t meant to be sought out, at least in the way we traditionally believe. It’s what we allow ourselves to be”.
When you get to play dolls with your daughter or play tag in the garden with your son – remind yourself there is nowhere else you should be. There is no better moment that is ever going to top this one. Enjoy and it and appreciate it fully. This is the same for life – when you are working, be fully in it and when you get to spend time with the family – savour it without the guilt.
I look forward to the next chapter of my forties and can’t wait to share it with you.
Ready to own your days and not feel like they are owning you?
I’ve created an ultimate guide to Show Up To Yourself: In Life & Business. If you follow this daily, you can build new habits — and actually sustain them; schedule yourself into your calendar, guilt-free; and manage your inner critic, free of anxiety and fear.