Keep breathing. Keep reaching out for support. It will pass.
6. The people that are meant to stick around will stick around.
Life, more than anything else, is about love and relationships.
I’m not just some heavily-biased relationship-obsessed doofus… a 75-year study done by Harvard University said so.
Investing in your closest intimate relationships (with friends, family, and significant others) will never be time wasted. Because love is never a waste. Connection matters so much to our well-being and overall health.
You will change throughout your life, in every way. And during some of these cycles of change, your social circle will shift to correspond to your new way of being. Embrace this.
Other times some really challenging stuff will happen to you, and certain friends will fall out of your life. Embrace this as well. These mini life-shakedowns are meant to come along to dust off the metaphorical cobwebs.
If they come, let them come. If they go, let them go.
(Side note: as technology gets stronger with time, there will be more and more opportunities for us to become more disconnected from our body. So prioritizing connection with others and staying connected to our bodies will matter even more as technology progresses.)
7. Be unreasonably kind.
Let’s face it… you have a gigantic heart.
The amount that you can love people is unmeasurably amazing. There’s so much love in that heart of yours, and when you beam it out to the world it’s truly something to behold.
I’ll tell you this right now…
We only ever have two choices at any given moment in life… either (1) close our heart and suffer, or (2) open our heart and love.
You will be given so many reasons throughout your lifetime to close down your heart.
People will take advantage of you. You will lose people. People might insult you, attack you, or attempt to shame you.
At a certain point, it might feel awfully tempting to close down your heart to others. To say “Screw this. I don’t want to feel all of this pain anymore. No more love for anyone!” And you will be in a holding pattern of closed-off suffering.
But there will come a time when, as Anais Nin once said, “the risk to remain tight in a bud” will be more painful than the risk it will take to blossom.
You will open your heart, beam your love out into the world, and the people who were always meant to be in your life will flock to you like bees to honey.
So, along your path, be kinder than it makes sense to be.
Give people the benefit of the doubt. If someone is rude to you, tries to pick a fight for no reason, or says something rude to you, remember that they are in pain. They are in pain otherwise they wouldn’t be trying to inflict pain on to others.
Love them where they are at, and keep loving the world anyways.
I could easily go on for another 20,000 words on this topic.
I deleted sections focused on being unreasonably honest, falling in love with yourself, and being frequently explicit about telling your people how much you love them. Maybe I’ll put them in a part-two article one day. But this is what I have for now. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go meet up with a friend who has asked me to hold her while she cries.
Because she’s honoring herself. And because people are allowed to feel. And because what else is life if not holding each other through the ups and downs of it all?
Dedicated to your success,
Written by Jordan Gray
Originally appeared in Jordan GrayConsulting
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