Your first heartbreak. Dealing with the death of a loved one for the first time. Realizing that someone you trusted knowingly deceived or betrayed you for the first time.
When something happens for the first time, it can shock the system. And there’s nothing there to compare it to. So it seems life-ending horrible. And yet, life doesn’t end.
You grow. You become more resilient. You become…. better.
So if you notice your mind telling you that:
– “Life will always be this bad…”
– “People aren’t trustworthy…”
– “Life is pain and nothing else…”
Realize that this is just your ego/fear-mind playing tricks on you. And it will become easier to not listen to these little gremlin voices the older you get. You will unplug from the convincingness of their trickery… and you will be a happier and more resilient person because of it.
If you’re in the midst of something truly awful right now and this seems like a tough pill to swallow (aka your mind is telling you that your case is special and you really are screwed), just give it time.
Keep breathing. Keep reaching out for support. It will pass.
6. The people that are meant to stick around will stick around.
Life, more than anything else, is about love and relationships. I’m not just some heavily-biased relationship-obsessed doofus… a 75-year study done by Harvard University said so.
Investing in your closest intimate relationships (with friends, family, and significant others) will never be time wasted. Because love is never a waste. Connection matters so much to our well-being and overall health.
You will change throughout your life, in every way. And during some of these cycles of change, your social circle will shift to correspond to your new way of being. Embrace this.
Other times some really challenging stuff will happen to you, and certain friends will fall out of your life. Embrace this as well. These mini life-shakedowns are meant to come along to dust off the metaphorical cobwebs.
If they come, let them come. If they go, let them go.
(Side note: as technology gets stronger with time, there will be more and more opportunities for us to become more disconnected from our bodies. So prioritizing connection with others and staying connected to our bodies will matter even more as technology progresses.)
7. Be unreasonably kind.
Let’s face it… you have a gigantic heart.
The amount that you can love people is unmeasurably amazing. There’s so much love in that heart of yours, and when you beam it out to the world it’s truly something to behold.
I’ll tell you this right now…
We only ever have two choices at any given moment in life… either (1) close our heart and suffer, or (2) open our heart and love.
You will be given so many reasons throughout your lifetime to close down your heart.
People will take advantage of you. You will lose people. People might insult you, attack you, or attempt to shame you.
At a certain point, it might feel awfully tempting to close down your heart to others. To say “Screw this. I don’t want to feel all of this pain anymore. No more love for anyone!” And you will be in a holding pattern of closed-off suffering.
But there will come a time when, as Anais Nin once said, “the risk to remain tight in a bud” will be more painful than the risk it will take to blossom.
You will open your heart, beam your love out into the world, and the people who were always meant to be in your life will flock to you like bees to honey. So, along your path, be kinder than what it makes sense to be.