They tell you: I wouldn’t have done it if you hadn’t been so untrustworthy. I’ve only been acting this way because you’ve been weird, controlling, etc. How did you find out anyway? Were you snooping? That’s crazy. I’m worried about you. You’re getting obsessed with trying to catch me in a lie. We’ll never make it if you don’t trust me. I trust you, why can’t you trust me.
You start to believe that they might be right. That perhaps if you could change, this would all get better.
8. They Show You In The Way That They Don’t Give You Reasons To Trust Them.
They don’t share their truths with you in the same way that you share your truths with them. They pad the truth with white lies that make it sound better. They tell you what you want to hear, and because they’re so good at this game, you actually believe them despite all contrary evidence.
9. They Show You In The Way That Something Feels Off And Disingenuous.
Something feels off, even though you cling to the idea that perhaps they are telling the truth. But their words don’t match their actions. They say they love you, but they are never there when you need them. They say they care about you, but they constantly put their needs far ahead of yours. They say they appreciate you, but over and over again they take advantage of your niceness.
And you let them because of your aching need to be loved and your tendency to put yourself last.
10. They Show You In The Way They Ignore Your Boundaries And Do What They Want Instead.
You compromise. You say you can do this, but you’re not comfortable with that. And they push until you bend. After you break, you’re left wondering why you weren’t strong enough to hold up your boundaries in the first place.
You feel weak-willed, and you wonder why you even bother putting up boundaries in the first place.
11. They Show You In The Way You Feel When You Step Away – Dazed, Unsure, Insecure.
You wonder why you can’t be happy like this. You wonder what is so wrong with the relationship that you can’t make it work. At the same time, you wonder why the fuck you’re putting up with this bullshit and why it’s so fucking hard for them to love you. Why it feels like you’re pouring yourself into this only to be shut down and reminded of all the ways you are unlovable.
You feel confused because you think you love them, but you wonder if love is supposed to feel like this. And if this is what love is, do you really even want it?
12. They Show You In The Way They Don’t Notice You’re Unhappy.
They can’t tell that your spirit seems to be drooping and darkening, as every passing moment, the urge to leave gets louder and louder. You lie there in bed next to them and you think, this is not me. This is not my home. This is not okay.
You pound on your chest to calm the anxiety that creeps in as you battle what you know you need to do but are too afraid of. And they don’t see it. They brush you off as if you’re moody. They tell you to lighten up. They tell you to get some help.
13. They Show You In The Way That They React When You Leave.
In the way that they don’t fight for you. In the way that they blame you. In the way that they accept no responsibility for any of it. And you show yourself that you made the right decision in the way that the world lifts off your shoulders the second you decide it’s time to go.
Check out Chloe Daniels’s personal website, for more such amazing articles, clobare.com.
Written By Chloe Daniels Originally Appeared In Thought Catalog
Dealing with liars, gaslighters, and cheats is like being in a nightmare 24×7, every moment feels more insane, painful, and emotionally draining than the previous one. The moment you feel that everything is finally fine, they pull the rug out from beneath your feet. Do yourself a favor, and run. Run very far, and never ever look back.